American Perspectives: Competition with Yu Rou ("Twisted Fate of Love" Ep. 14)

 

A little background on Yu Rou. On paper, she is Feng Xi's concubine, sometimes regarded as wife. But they have never been sexually active with each other. He doesn't think of her in that way, but she does. Some of my American readers, due to our cultural limitations with sexuality, and with the legitimate political institutions women occupied in other cultures, may think: "Yeah, right." But, it wasn't uncommon for someone in a position of authority to take multiple concubines for political reasons, and then not consummate the union. Especially when they had unlimited access to their female staff. Looking at the numbers, many of these people had female staff numbering from the tens to the thousands. It is just not possible to "get involved" with all of them, and still be an effective political figure...Back to the subject at hand: Yu Rou and Feng Xi are together because she helped him at a low point and he's returning the favour. She's hoping that someday, he'll notice all the good things she has done, and they will finally consummate their relationship. Because that hasn't happened, and Deng Yue is now living at Feng Manor, there is absolutely underlying anger, jealousy, and insecurity. Think about it, though. Yu Rou has limited options beyond the walls of Feng Manor. Where can she go when Feng Xi decides Yu Rou takes priority? In real life, even in modern times, this really seems to be what causes so much hostility among women when a man triangulates them: limited options for them when their husband or boyfriend screws up.

 

At the beginning of Episode 14, Yu Rou and Dong Yue are facing off in the Feng Manor garden. Yu Rou is attempting to get into Dong Yue's head her, as Dong Yue is not fully committed to Feng Xi just yet, and she still has options beyond the manor. Yu Rou advises Dong Yue to be sensible. Dong Yue makes it clear that she doesn't care about Yu Rou's past with her with Feng Xi, and she is the most important woman in his heart.Yu Rou knows this is true, but she still tries to gain the upper hand. Before she can, Dong Yue shows her the ID Badge pendant that Feng Xi had gifted her in

Episode 1

. She tells Yu Rou that he told her he could only give it to the woman he loved the most.

Yu Rou, attempting to regain her footing, weakly scoffs, "It's just a jade pendant.  Say whatever response you want."

Dong Yue, being very adept at both female and male warfare, claps back, "I fear that Feng Xi has never even mentioned it to you, has he?"

Yu Rou gives her a pained look, she doesn't know what to say.

Dong Yue continues, "That makes sense! Since he never planned to give it to you anyway, why would he tell you?"

Yu Rou looks like she's in over her head.  She's not used to someone as intelligent as Dong Yue giving her pushback.  She's accustomed to the Feng Manor servants blindly obeying her and telling her what she wants to hear.

Yu Rou snaps, "How could you know of my relationship with him?" (She's definitely losing ground to stand on, and she knows it).  "It's just a jade pendant.  Who knows where you found it to fabricate such a story."

"Fine, since you don't believe my story about the pendant, you should know that Feng Xi and I went to the puppet theater," Dong Yue calmly responds.  "He told the puppet troupe to arrange a story about 'Xi Fue.'"

Yu Rou knows she's toast at this point, but she has to take another shot.  Her maid intervenes and does it for her. "Madam, do not listen to her.  She's purposefully trying to anger you." (She also knows that Yu Rou's relationship hasn't been consummated, but Dong Yue doesn't, and she's doing her part to help Yu Rou save face, and keep the manor in order).  "If you don't believe me, we can go and ask Lord Feng."

 

"That's enough!" Feng Xi yells.  He stands in front of Yu Rou, looks toward Dong Yue, and then asks, "Yu Rou, what's going on with you today?  There are so many women in this manor.  It's my first time ever seeing you so concerned."

She admits she doesn't know why she's feeling this way.  "I keep feeling that my nerves are not calm."

To keep the peace, to keep her from losing face (but inadvertantly undermining Dong Yue, which opens up another can of worms), he gives her a beautiful hairpin.  As an objective observer, it's understandable what he's trying to do.  Disrupted order in his home could potentially create problems that could compromise him politically.  As a woman, however, this is infuriating, as a smart man should understand female dynamics beyond sex, and know that in order to solidify the hierarchy among women, he has to clearly and firmly state where his affections lie, and that the door is closed.  Alas, most men aren't that smart, and many women know that.  We are seriously our own worst enemy.  As a woman, him gifting Yu Rou that hairpin sends out the message that there's an open spot in his bed for her.  That is not his intent, but that is how the women's hierarchy works, no matter how much we try to deny it.

To add insult to injury, he tells Yu Rou how beautiful she is, and Yu Rou makes sure she is very emphatic about how he's given her so much jewelry. He then personally puts the hairpin in her hair, and, he walks away with her.Yu Rou's servant smirks, "I said long ago that our Madam in the Feng Manor could never be replaced."

 

Dong Yue decides to talk about it with Zi Yuan over some tea. Zi Yuan is an amazing friend who is always able to help Dong Yue get some clarity. Dong Yue tries to deny that she's upset about the hairpin. (As mentioned earlier, it really isn't about the hairpin, and that's the point many men miss as they minimize their wife's or girlfriend's feelings).She instead says, "I was just curious about Feng Xi's and Yu Rou's past together." (As she should be. She has every right to know what the heck she is walking in to if she chooses to fully commit to Feng Xi). She is not fully ready to be vulnerable with Zi Yuan about her storm of emotions.Zi Yuan is trying not to laugh. (She is so cute). She stands up and says, "Lord Feng and Sister Yu Rou's past, I don't know about it. However, I have heard rumors about their relationship these days." She motions for Dong Yue to move closer as, there could be anyone listening.Dong Yue complies. Zi Yuan whispers, "I heard that yesterday, although Sister Yu received jewelry, she was not entirely happy. I heard her servant say that she prepared everything last night, but Lord Feng would rather sleep in the study."Dong Yue is cautious. “That still doesn’t prove anything.”ZI Yuan continues, "I heard that ever since Sister Yu Rou entered the manor, Lord Feng has never slept in the same room as her. He also said that if she had any better arrangements, she could leave Feng Manor."Dong Yue gasps. She still doesn't completely believe it. She says, "They'll still call her Noble Madam Rou when she leaves the manor."Zi Yuan counters, "Noble Madam Rou, not Noble Madam Feng, right? It's just wishful thinking of hers." She further points out that he is being kind to Yu Rou in front of Dong Yue because he wants to make Dong Yue jealous. He wants reassurance that Dong Yue cares about him.Dong Yue hadn't thought of it like that, and it's certainly something to ponder. Zi Yuan isn't wrong. An unjealous woman usually is a woman who has minimal feelings for her partner, or who isn't fully invested in the relationship.