American Perspectives: Mean Girls and Vendettas Pt. 3 ("기황후" Ep. 8)

 

 

"기황후" can be viewed on Viki or Youtube, as well as many other channels.  It is an amazing classic 사극, and this author is aware that it's not historically accurate.  The real life Empress Ki had a very contentious relationship with the Goryeo Dynasty.  And many liberties were most certainly taken with the fictionalized version of historical characters. Dialogue adapted from English Subtitle translations by the "Imperial Team at Viki.com"

 

 

 

 

 

Emperor Toghon finally makes his way to the bridal chamber.

 

The doors open, and Empress Danashiri bows as she willingly waits for one of the biggest disappointments in her life.  

 

Two court ladies in purple begin to disrobe the Emperor.

 

"Why are you so late?"  Empress Danashiri is beginning to feel furious, but she's trying to control it.

 

"Sorry," Emperor Toghon says flippantly.

 

Empress Danashiri salvages a smile.  Unlike Emperor Toghon, she doesn't get any "special companions" of the opposite sex, so she has to make the best of what's in front of her.   However, she doesn't really want to go finding someone else of the opposite sex.  She just wants the man sitting in front of her to give her a chance, just as she is giving him.  "Please sit.  I'll pour you a drink."  She sits across from him, attempting to look seductive, but he avoids eye contact.  She adjusts her bodice, hoping it will shift the mood.  She can already tell he's not going to consummate the marriage.

 

He smiles as she pours the wine.  "It is a liquor made from the flower of the Persian Silk Tree," says Empress Danashiri.  "The honey in it should suit your taste well."

 

He pauses, and then drinks it in one gulp.

 

"Would you like one more?"  Empress Danashiri asks seductively.

 

He smiles at her, and presents his cup.  She pours some more wine.

 

**************

 

From a tray full of willow switches, Eunuch Dokman grabs one, and looks at Seung Nyang angrily.  Most likely, it's pent up anger at Empress Danashiri, who has been rude to him for several weeks, that he is now going to express on one of his own.

 

"Tell me the truth," Eunuch Dokman approaches her.  "Why do you carry that knife?"

 

"The knife was to protect myself," says Seung Nyang.

 

He circles around her like a hungry shark.  "Protect yourself?"

 

"Rather than get humiliated by General Tanqishi after getting dragged here, I would rather kill myself."

 

Eunuch Dokman sharply turns to face her.  "You're lying.  He's now the Empress' brother.  What servant would refuse him, unless she's a fool?  Lashings won't do.  Drag this wench away right now!"

 

Two eunuchs grab her arms.

 

"He..." Seung Nyang yells.  "He killed my mother."

 

Eunuch Dokman looks at her empathetically.

 

"Just for my own comfort, how could I be in the embrace of someone who killed my mother?"

 

Eunuch Dokman nods at the two eunuchs, and they release their grip on Seung Nyang.

 

"If it's a sin to protect my honor, please kill me this instant," says Seung Nyang.

 

"Do you know how many die every year in this palace?"  Eunuch Dokman asks.  "Some die from saying the wrong things, some from dropping hair in food.  Some for having affections for a eunuch.  There are more than a hundred reasons!  Among all the quarters, this inner court is where most people die without anyone noticing!  It's fine with me if you just die, but in here, you never die alone.  If you say the wrong things, the one who hears also dies.  And if you have an affection for someone, that person also dies, which is why we have rules and punishments.  You...broke the rules of the palace."

 

***************

 

Seung Nyang balances a heavy ceramic bowl of water over her head.

 

"If you spill even one drop, I will start the count again from the beginning.  Count the lashings."  He slaps the switch against her exposed calves.

 

Seung Nyang winces.  "하나, 둘, 셋, 넷..."

 

 

 

 

 

Empress Danashiri is lying on her back, in the marital bed, by herself.  Day 1 of many more days of upcoming sexual frustration.  Day 1 of a dead bedroom, and a sexually avoidant husband.  As mentioned before, there were many ways he could have made this good for both of them without getting her pregnant.  It's not like his penis is going to detach itself from him and impregnate her.  He's completely capable of stopping.

 

She lifts her head up, wondering if he might make his way over.

 

"Another bottle of wine here!"  He slurs.

 

She sits straight up and sighs with impatience.

 

"Is anyone there?"  Emperor Toghon asks.  He's like a man boy who would rather play videogames than pay attention to his wife.  "One more bottle, I said!"

 

"Sire," says an exhausted Eunuch Baek.  "Please go to bed."

 

"Bed?"  Emperor Toghon asks.  "Ah, bed..."  He laughs.  "This is the marriage suite, right?"

 

He looks over, and Empress Danashiri quickly lays down.

 

He pushes back the curtain around the bed.

 

Empress Danashiri smiles.  Finally...

 

"Empress, you are very beautiful."

 

She smiles.  Idiot, did you just notice?  She's not conceited.  Her annoyed thoughts after putting in a ton of effort to look nice for her special day are extremely warranted.

 

"Your face and body are amazingly beautiful."

 

"Please.  Please put your tired body here, My Lord."  She places her hands above her chest.  It sounds like the equivalent of something a teenage girl would be advised to say from a magazine article on how to entice and please your man.  "Please, My Lord.  I'm waiting like this."  Internally, she's cringing, but she doesn't want this night going into the trash can.

 

Emperor Toghon nods and giggles.  He lays right on top of her, head resting on her chest.

 

Empress Danashiri smiles.  "Now my heart and body are yours.  You are my liege.  So have your way--"

 

He begins to snore.

 

Empress Danashiri feels completely disgusted.  "My Lord."  She tries shaking his shoulders.  "My Lord!"  She puts her hand in his hair, but resists the urge to yank it.  She takes a deep breath, as she really wants to kick him in the nuts, and knock him into next week.  Instead, she pushes him off her, and she sits up.  Day 1 of weaponized incompetence: bedroom edition.

 

She takes a seat at the wedding table, and tries to drink more wine.  The fucking kettle is empty.  "Bring more wine to drink!  Wine, wine, wine!  Bring more to drink!  Can't you hear me?"

 

Court Lady Yeom is listening from the outside, and she smiles.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"She was rejected on their first night?"  Empress Dowager gloats.

 

"Yes, Your Highness," Court Lady Yeom dutifully replies.  "He just went to sleep."

 

Empress Dowager beams.  "Tell the Eunuchs and Court Ladies this news in secret.  Since she was rejected starting on the first night, even Danashiri can't hold her head high."

 

"I will do so," says Court Lady Yeom.

 

"I'm curious to see how Danashiri's arrogant expression will change."  Empress Dowager begins to laugh.

 

"Your Highness," a woman's voice says from outside.  "His Imperial Majesty is here."

 

"Please show him in," says Empress Dowager.  "Welcome.  But why isn't the Empress with you?"

 

"She didn't come," says Emperor Toghon.

 

"What do you mean?"  Empress Dowager asks with fake surprise.  "Coming to say your greetings to me after the first night is an important rule of the palace."

 

"When I woke up, she had gone to her quarters and wasn't around."

 

Empress Dowager pretends to be shocked.  "What happened?  Didn't you teach her the rules of the palace?"

 

"We taught her, Your Highness," Court Lady Yeom insists.

 

"I'm going to open an inquiry right away," says Empress Dowager.  "Not only the Empress, but tell all the court ladies and eunuchs of the Inner Court to gather."

 

"Yes, Your Highness," Court Lady Yeom bows.

 

"How dare she refuse to carry out her first greeting?"  Empress Dowager fumes.

 

*********

 

"What?"  Empress Danashiri asks.  "Inquiry?  When the lawfully wedded Empress is here, why would Empress Dowager open an inquiry?"

 

"The handing over of responsibilities hasn't finished yet," says Court Lady Yeom.  "You haven't carried out your first greeting to Empress Dowager, so..."

 

"Do I look like I'm in the mood to greet anyone?"  Empress Danashiri asks icily.

 

"In any case, you must go to Empress Dowager's quarters."

 

Empress Danashiri rolls her eyes.  "Tell her I had a rough first night, so I'm resting."

 

"Your Majesty."

 

"No.  I think pregnancy would be better.  Tell her that I received so much of His Majesty's grace that I am too tired to go."

 

Court Lady Yeom exits to an anxious Eunuch Dokman waiting at the door.  "Why don't you try speaking to the Empress?"  Eunuch Dokman asks.

 

"What do you mean?"  Court Lady Yeom asks.

 

"A war isn't always fought by wielding a sword.  If the two of them fight, we're the ones who will die."

 

"I can't do anything about this."  Court Lady Yeom continues to walk away.

 

"Lady Yeom," says Eunuch Dokman.  "Lady Yeom!"

 

Empress Danashiri's Court Lady walks out the doors.  "Empress is going to open an inquiry of the Inner Court," she tells Eunuch Dokman.

 

"Inquiry?  But Empress Dowager just said she's opening an inquiry."

 

The Court Lady walks back into Empress Danashiri's quarters.

 

**************

 

Empress Danashiri is in the main hall of the Inner Court, ready to assert her command.  A line of court ladies and palace maids is on the right, and the Eunuchs are on the left.

 

"From Jong Sa Won, please introduce youselves," says Eunuch Dokman.  

 

The court ladies begin.

 

"I'm Jong Sa Won who deals with documents at the Bureau of Commerce and Industry."

 

"I'm Yeop Seo Bin from the Bureau of Commerce."

 

"I'm Yong Sa Sik from the Sangbokgung."

 

"Sang Sigun's----"

 

Nothing is distracting Empress Danashiri from last night's humiliation.  "That's enough," she raises her hand.

 

Eunuch Dokman looks at her quizzically.

 

"How am I supposed to remember all of you?"  Empress Danashiri asks.  She decides to humiliate them, like how she was humiliated last night.  "From now on, I'll just call you my way."  She descends the steps.

 

She stands in front of Jong Sa Won.  "You're not very pretty for a court lady.  I'll call you squash."

 

She stands in front of Yeop Seo Bin.  "Your face is dark.  So, Coal."

 

"You're pudgy, so Boar."

 

Danashiri makes her way down the line of court ladies.

 

"You look lazy, so Grub."

 

"Your Majesty," Eunuch Dokman bows.

 

She turns to face him.

 

"You can't call people that way in the Royal Palace," says Eunuch Dokman.

 

"Your face is wide-ish and looks like a toad.  I'll call you Toad from now on."  She moves back to the court ladies.  "Squash."

 

Jong Sa Won looks down in embarrassment.

 

"Squash, you wench!"  Empress Danashiri snaps.

 

"Yes, Your Majesty."

 

Empress Danashiri smirks.  The anger from last night's humiliation is beginning to fade.  "Do you like your name?"

 

"I...like it," Jong Sa Won lies.

 

"Of course, you should," Empres Danashiri smirks.  She ascends the steps back up to her seat.  "From now on, I am in charge of the Inner Court.  Not Empress Dowager, got it?"

 

"Yes, Your Imperial Majesty," the eunuchs and court ladies bow.

 

Empress Danashiri is feeling much better.

 

********

 

Empress Dowager ascends the arched bridge from one direction, while Empress Danashiri ascends from the opposite.

 

Empress Dowager looks unsettled, while Empress Danashiri looks like she's out for blood.  The two meet at the top, and look at each other coldly.

 

Empress Danashiri is the first to break the tension with a smile.  She bows to her evil mother in law, who plays dirty by acting clean.

 

Empress Dowager smirks at her spoiled and entitled daughter in law.

 

"What brings you all the way here?"  Empress Danashiri asks.

 

"Why do you think?  I came to see you."

 

"I'm sorry," says Empress Danashiri, "but I was on my way to see the Emperor."

 

"I thought you'd want to see me.  I heard that His Majesty didn't even lay a finger on you on your first night."

 

Empress Danashiri's face drops.

 

"That has never happened in any previous generation of Emperors," Empress Dowager continues.  "Aren't you curious as to how to win his heart?"

 

"Are you...going to tell me?"

 

"If you wish."

 

"There's something else I'm curious about," says Empress Danashiri.  "I heard that when the Emperor dies, the Empress Dowager shaves her head and enters a monastery, and then spends the rest of her years as a female monk.  But, how are you still here, acting like you're in charge of the Inner Court?  I'm curious about that secret method, too."

 

Empress Dowager takes a deep breath.  "Do you wish for me to leave the Royal Palace?"

 

"I heard you put a lot of importance on rules and customs.  What's the point if you don't act on them?  You need to set an example."

 

Empress Dowager smiles icily.

 

Empress Danashiri bows.  Her work for the day is done.

 

Empress Dowager, on the other hand, is appalled.  After the Empress leaves, she looks over at Court Lady Yeom.  "Tell Head Eunuch to bring the girl chosen as concubine."

 

***********

 

Empress Dowager is sitting in her quarters as Court Lady Park and Eunuch Dokman stand in front of her.

 

"Lift your head," says Eunuch Dokman.

 

"Your face looks kind and refined," says Empress Dowager.  "And you also have shapely and pretty breasts.  Turn around.  You have the hips that will bear children well."

 

Eunuch Dokman bows.  "I looked very carefully among the Court Ladies, and chose her by the strictest of qualifications."

 

"Look this way," says Empress Dowager.

 

Court Lady Park turns to face her.

 

"Where are you from?"  Empress Dowager asks.

 

"I came from Goryeo," Court Lady Park bows.

 

"The Emperor will come to your room tonight.  You're certain you can take good care of him, right?"

 

"I will do my best."

 

"She has been well educated already," says Eunuch Dokman.  "Please don't worry."

 

"Get another girl from Goryeo to serve her."

 

"Yes, Your Highness," says Eunuch Dokman.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Byeong Soo is staring at his wooden sword.

 

"The deposed King's sword fighting skills aren't bad at all," says Jo Cham.

 

"Don't worry," says Byeong Soo.  "I have a special weapon..."

 

Jo Cham abruptly sits down.  "Special weapon?  What is it?"

 

Byeong Soo looks from side to side before showing Jo Cham the handle of his sword.  "This is it."  Concealed within the wood is a rod of metal.

 

"You put...iron inside?"

 

"When his wooden sword is shattered, is that the only thing that will be shattered?  How about his head, too?"  Byeong Soo laughs.

 

********

 

"He used to teach sword fighting when we were in the Department of Military Defense in Inju," says Bul Hwa.  "Don't underestimate Yeom Byeong Soo's sword fighting skills."

 

"That bastard," Jeom Bak growls.

 

"Even the best soldiers in Goryeo's military were no match for His Majesty,"  Moo Song insists.

 

Now is not the time for flattery...

 

"It's almost time, Sire," says Eunuch Bang.

 

A group of Goryeo men, lead by Baek Jo Hang, enter the ger.  "Please win!"  Baek Jo Hang says.  "Everyone is of one heart.  Please lead us!"

 

*********

 

The Yuan soldiers cheer as Byeong Soo walks to the sparring ring.

 

"Please win for us!"  The Goryeo men say as Wang Yoo walks by.

 

"Don't get nervous, and destroy him," Jo Chang says to Byeong Soo.

 

Byeong Soo and Wang Yoo face each other in the ring.  Toqto'a stands between them.  "Today's fight won't be over until someone surrenders," says Toqto'a.  "If no one surrenders until the end, you can kill each other."

 

Byeong Soo gets in Wang Yoo's face.  "Did you hear?  If you don't want to scar your precious body, you can surrender now."

 

"Don't ever surrender," says Wang Yoo.

 

"Why?"  Byeong Soo asks.  "Because you want to kill me?"  Byeong Soo laughs.

 

"Begin," says Bayan.

 

The drum beats, and the spectators cheer.

 

The men position their swords, and begin to duel.  The hatred between the two is intense as they hit and block.  A wooden sword on its own is dangerous enough.  But one with iron in it takes it to the next level.

 

******

 

Seung Nyang is walking through the covered walkway at night with a tray of food and tea.  She enters the hallway of the concubines' quarters, and walks between the two lines of court ladies waiting at the door.  She exchanges glances with Eunuch Dokman before making her way into Court Lady Park's quarters.

 

"What's the tea for?"  Court Lady Park inquires.

 

"It's angelica root tea.  You are to drink it tonight to warm up your body," says Seung Nyang.

 

As Seung Nyang turns to leave, Court Lady Park says, "I heard you're from Goryeo."

 

Seung Nyang pauses.

 

"I'm from Goryeo, too," says Court Lady Park.  "So...Head Eunuch brought you in especially to serve me."

 

"Please drink it before it gets cold," says Seung Nyang, finding the entire concubine situation, from selection to enactment, downright creepy.

 

Eunuch Dokman bursts through the door.  "His Majesty is coming this way."

 

Seung Nyang looks up in panic, and promptly lowers her head.

 

"Didn't you say he was coming at Hwaeshi?"  Court Lady Park asks.

 

"I thought so, but he suddenly made his way here."  Eunuch Dokman turns to Seung Nyang.  "Take the tea tray away."

 

"Yes, Sir," Seung Nyang bows.

 

As Seung Nyang is walking outside, Toghon and his entourage are ambling down the walkway.

 

Seung Nyang is so focused on not seeing the Emperor, that she almost runs right into him.  Seung Nyang looks at him in shock.  She absently tilts her tray, and the tea cup shatters on the ground.

 

"Watch yourself!" Eunuch Baek snaps.  

 

Seung Nyang promptly gets to her knees.  "I apologize, Your Majesty."

 

Something about her seems familiar...Emperor Toghon stops to look at her.

 

"Please, let's go, Your Majesty," says Eunuch Baek.

 

Emperor Toghon signals for Eunuch Baek to hold on.  "Lift your head for a moment."

 

Seung Nyang is totally frozen.

 

"I said, lift your head."

 

Seung Nyang closes her eyes.

 

"Didn't you hear His Majesty?"  Eunuch Baek asks impatiently.

 

Seung Nyang takes a deep breath.  She slowly looks up, and Emperor Toghon bends down.

 

"You..." says Emperor Toghon.  "You are...You are..."