American Perspectives: 미실 exercising her right to choose

Lady 미실

This opinion of mine regarding Lady 미실 is a rather controversial one, and something undoubtedly steeped in Western Values.  On occasion, however, I feel the need to share it.  Especially when I hear American K-Drama fans say oh so authoritatively, that 민재이 from "Our Blooming Youth" is the first empowered woman in a 사극.  I seriously want to scream at the blatant ignorance.  Have you seriously not seen "The Great Queen 선덕"? It might not be all about female solidarity (and that's another thing that really makes my eyes roll, the expectation that all women should form a sappy and agreeable sisterhood.  No! That's where all the cattiness and back biting comes from due to it being culturally ingrained among American women at least that "If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all," and that's where the back stabbing and catty comments come in, because they aren't technically being mean).  Instead, you see two highly intelligent women hashing it out on an intellectual and political level that does not involve attacking or slandering each other's appearance and/or sexuality.

I love 미실 as much as I love 기황후, because they aren't the type of women who'll say "Yas Queen!" to your face and then spread all kinds of malicious slander behind your back.  They are the type of women where if you're their enemy, you will definitely know.  I will say, however, that I most certainly did not feel that way about 미실 in the beginning.  I had to watch the show a second time to appreciate her brilliance, and to acknowlege that even though some of her opinions were caustic, she wasn't wrong.  Which also brought forth that possiblity that maybe her being a bitch wasn't a bad thing, as she did get the job done.

What I want to address today is a scene that bothered a lot of people.  It initially bothered me, but then I took some time to think about it differently.  Especially in light of some major changes to abortion rights in the US.  It's the scene where 미실 decides to leave her baby in the Buddhist temple because he wasn't chosen to be Crown Prince.  On the surface, it sounds like she's a status climber who left her baby to die.  That wasn't necessarily the case.  If she had wanted her baby to die, she most certainly would not have left him at the Buddhist temple where she knew he'd be taken care of.  With 미실, if her intent was to kill, it would have been one and done.  This lady does not waste time with anything once she makes a decision.  She's not like the quintessential American woman who does a validation seeking soliloquy among her like minded friends while speaking in a moaning, whining voice, and her friends moan and whine with her, while throwing in the obligatory "Yasss Queen!"  Nope.  This chick gets the job done, no ifs, ands, or buts.

So, let's go back a few steps.  The soon to be King 진지 essentially indicated that if she joined his side, the child they would produce would be Crown Prince, and she would become Queen.  So, before anyone gets judgmental: I know many young American women who engage in sexual relationships with their love interests for promotions, financial gain, status climbing, saving a dying relationship because similar, relevant false promises are made.  Then either upon pregnancy or the birth of the child, they are promptly broken.  And how many mothers and fathers of these American women encourage adoption or abortion prior to the child being born? Countless! Adoption mainly, but you'd be surprised at the number of conservative Christian women who discreetly partake in abortion services.  Especially if there's a family image to uphold.  

So, when King 진지 essentially says, after the birth of their son that he does not intend to make him Crown Prince, she takes him to the temple.  The other side of this that is glossed over is that King 진지 knows about it, and has a trusted swordsman take him and raise him, instead of oh, I don't know, deciding to raise him himself.  And no attacks for the portrayal, as it's our responsibility as viewers to think for ourselves.  And write informal op-ed pieces, such as this, encouraging others to think instead of irrationally fume and slander for attention.

So 미실 was doing what essentially millions of women have done: she gave up a baby whom she knew she couldn't raise. And like millions of women, he was conceived in hopes of a better political opportunity that didn't happen.  I don't think it is fair to expect her or any women who have adopted out their children to be wallowing in grief for all eternity.  She didn't kill him, she gave him a chance.

비담, artwork by The Bluedevil

Like many other adoptees, however, the child, 비담 had issues that his adoptive father didn't know how to handle, which left him with a myriad of problems that some adopted children face.  It is common to use this to blame the mother for her decision, however, it is not her fault.  It is the adoptive parent's responsibility to educate themselves, and that is another issue for another time.

So, the 2nd time I watched Queen 산덕, I didn't hate her for her decision.  I understand.  Like many women, if she hadn't exercised her right to choose, she wouldn't have been able to advance politically.  She already had two other adult children.  An additional child without an involved father would have complicated matters further.

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