American Perspectives: Concubine Selection Pt. 2 ("기황후" Ep. 25)

 

 

***The intent of The Flower Realm by 사극 Paradise is to support women and men in rejecting the culture of pornography, and to live a life of integrity without manipulative intent.***

 

"기황후" can be viewed on Viki or Youtube, as well as many other channels.  It is an amazing classic 사극, and this author is aware that it's not historically accurate.  The real life Empress Ki had a very contentious relationship with the Goryeo Dynasty.  And many liberties were most certainly taken with the fictionalized version of historical characters. Dialogue adapted from English Subtitle translations by the "Imperial Team at Viki.com"

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Did you hear about where she rolled in from?"  One of the candidates snidely asks.

 

"Is it true?"

 

"I also heard about her.  It's ridiculous."

 

The candidates enviously approach Seung Nyang.

 

"I heard you were a tribute."

 

Seung Nyang glances over at these obviously jealous women.

 

"Wow, I guess it's true.  What is this?  You're making us look classless."

 

"You should drop out while we're being nice."

 

"Worry about yourselves first," says Seung Nyang.

 

The young women laugh.

 

"What?  Yourselves?  Did you just say 'yourselves' to us?"

 

"Stop it," Lady Oh interjects.  "No matter what our origins are, we're all in the same situation right now."

 

"What are you talking about?  She's from Goryeo, and was dragged here as a tribute girl!"

 

"Competing against the likes of her, doesn't it hurt your pride?"

 

"The Empress is here," Court Lady Seo announces.

 

The candidates scurry to their proper spots, like actresses in a Broadway Musical.

 

Empress Danashiri eyes the women as she walks down the aisle.  "You are all very pretty."  Your attractiveness will become your poison.  Her eyes rest of Seung Nyang.  Not again.  She stands in front of her.  "What are you doing here?"

 

Seung Nyang looks up, and Yeon Hwa and Court Lady Seo gasp.

 

"Are you deaf?"  Empress Danashiri asks.  "I asked what you're doing here."  Worst nightmare ever.  

 

Seung Nyang smirks.  Wouldn't you like to know.

 

"Commander Bayan sent her," Empress Dowager glides through the doors.

 

"Then the representative of Liaoyang Province is her?"  Empress Danashiri asks with disgust.

 

"I was surprised, too," says Empress Dowager, "but it's only up to the magistrate himself.  So, what can we do?"

 

Empress Danashiri gazes at Seung Nyang hatefully.  Her plans to bond with Emperor Toghon: completely obliterated.

 

"All of you will compete to become Imperial Concubines through three stages of testing," says Empress Dowager.  "Lucky Imperial Concubines will bring about harmony in the palace, but those with unfavorable facial features will bring about unhappiness.  Therefore, the first round will be based on your physiognomy.  But, where are the administrators from the Justice Office?"

 

"They won't be coming," says Empress Danashiri.  She smiles at the shocked Empress Dowager.  "Instead of them, I asked for artists to come."

 

"What do you mean artists?"  Empress Dowager asks.

 

"You, yourself, oversee the Justice Office," says Empress Danashiri.  "I want to remove any suspicion that you were influencing them."

 

Empress Dowager chuckles.  "I didn't manage to think that far."

 

"The artists will draw your portraits," says Empress Danashiri.  "The physiognomists, without any prior knowledge, will judge you solely based on your portraits.  That's how it will be done."

 

*********

 

The candidates sit at the tables while the artists draw their portraits.

 

Empress Dowager picks up a portrait, and smiles approvingly.

 

Empress and Empress Dowager walk between the tables, studying the artwork.  The Empress Dowager smiles at Empress Danashiri.

 

What is she up to?  Empress Danashiri thinks.

 

********

 

Yeon Hwa, in her newly acquired Senior Court Lady Uniform, watches the physiognomists while Hong Dan brings in some refreshments.

 

One of the pysiognomists is really struck by Seung Nyang's portrait.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Empress Danashiri is lying on her bed, next to Maha, giggling.  "Did you see how taken aback Empress Dowager was?"

 

"I saw, Your Majesty," says Court Lady Seo.

 

"I'm certain she colluded with the magistrates.  She's the very best at scheming.  You told the physiognomists to only select the unattractive ones?"

 

"They will be selected in the order of ugliness," Court Lady Seo assures her.

 

"It's not because I'm jealous of their looks," says Empress Danashiri.

 

"There's no one in the world whose looks you would ever be jealous of."

 

Empress Danashiri giggles.  "That's true.  I am pretty attractive."  She looks down at her son.  "Maha.  Sleep, sleep."

 

Newsflash: Men don't tend to cheat on their attractive wives with pretty women.  They tend to cheat with hideously unattractive women whose self esteem is so low because they are off the radar, and they'll re-enact any creepy fantasy he demands of her.  (While proclaiming to her that she's the love of his life). **Facts**

 

*********

 

"Only by looking at the portraits," says Emperor Toghon, "how will they know whose daughters they are?  It's become useless that Empress Dowager set it up beforehand."

 

"Don't worry too much," says Eunuch Baek.  "Seung Nyang's physiognomy is very good, even by my eyes."

 

Guk Su enters the room and bows.  "Your Majesty, the results are out."

 

******

 

Yeon Hwa approaches Eunuch Dokman with the official results regarding Round One.  The Empress, Empress Dowager, and candidates are eagerly waiting in the main pavilion of the Inner Palace.

 

"Announce it," says Empress Danashiri.

 

Eunuch Dokman unfurls the paper.  "Those who passed the first round are a total of seven.  Lady Seolhwa from Yunnan Province."

 

Lady Oh steps forward.  A beautiful hair ornament is prominently displayed in her bun.  Empress Danashiri scowls.

 

"What happened?"  Empress Danashiri hisses at Court Lady Seo.

 

"She's not that pretty," Court Lady Seo whispers.  "Please don't worry."

 

"Lady Wuiso from Linbei Province."

 

Lady Wuiso smiles and steps forward.

 

"Lady Moran from Sichuan Province.  Lady Mirang from Shaanxi Province.  Lady Giae from Gansu Province.  Lady Jiran from Jiangxi Province."

 

Empress Danashiri scowls.  All of these women are gorgeous.

 

"And the last one...is Ki Yang from Liaoyang Province."

 

What the fuck?

 

Hong Dan smiles at Seung Nyang and nods.  Yeon Hwa rolls her eyes.

 

Empress Dowager looks over at Empress Danashiri and grins.  I've been at this at least one decade longer than you, Honey Bunch.

 

"Even that wench?"  Empress Danashiri whispers through clenched teeth.  She can already hear the sound and smell the scent of her marriage going up in smoke.  "What happened?  Didn't we tell them to pick the ugly ones?"

 

"To me, they are all quite ugly," says Court Lady Seo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"The administrators will study everyone's physiognomy and grade each person," says Toqto'a.  He and Seung Nyang are meeting in a secret room.

 

"The Empress has become a judge for this round of the competition," says Seung Nyang.

 

"That was bothering me, too," says Toqto'a.

 

"I thought it would be good to create a sign."

 

"A sign?"

 

"Speak to Empress Dowager and to the concubines she wishes to be selected, to have them provide hair ornaments," says Seung Nyang.  "Even if something unexpected happens, that will be enough preparation."

 

"I will speak to Empress Dowager."

 

********

 

Emperor Toghon is nervously pacing in one of his rooms.

 

"Your Majesty," Eunuch Baek breathlessly enters.  Empress Dowager leads the way.

 

"Be happy," Empress Dowager smiles.  "The results of the first round are very good."

 

Emperor Toghon nods toward Eunuch Baek.

 

"What happened to the lady that Commander Bayan nominated?"  Eunuch Baek asks.

 

Empress Dowager grins.  "Of course, she passed.  Commander Bayan said that she saved your life in Goryeo.  Is that true?"

 

Emperor Toghon nods.

 

"She's a remarkable girl," Empress Dowager gushes.  "Without her wisdom, we would not have gotten the results we wanted for this first round."

 

Emperor Toghon looks down and smiles.

 

"Your Majesty," says Empress Dowager, "the selection is not merely about Imperial Concubines, it will become a gem that will strengthen your Imperial Power.  So know that, and be at ease."

 

******

 

Earlier, the physician had taken Emperor Toghon's pulse while he was presumed to be asleep. 

 

The physician approaches El Temur and Tanqishi, who are observing the examination.

 

"He has passed out from drinking too much," says the physician.

 

"When will he begin to speak?"  El Temur asks.

 

"His Majesty has no desire to speak at all," says the physician.

 

"You can go now," says El Temur.

 

After the physician bows and exits, Tanqishi remarks, "He has practically become an invalid."

 

"It's a good thing," says El Temur.  "I was. planning to announce his abdication on the Crown Prince's first birthday anyway."

 

They don't see Emperor Toghon opening his eyes and listening in.

 

"Isn't that too early?"  Tanqishi asks.

 

"Do you think I'll live a thousand years?"  El Temur asks.  "The Imperial Concubine Selection is for holding the daughters of the magistrates as hostages in preparation for abdication.  So, you persuade Empress Dowager."

 

"I understand."

 

Emperor Toghon closes his eyes.

 

*********

 

"But, why are you even deceiving Empress Dowager?  And pretending to still have aphasia?"  Eunuch Baek asks.

 

"I will tell you later," says Emperor Toghon.

 

*********

 

Empress Dowager smiles as she approaches Empress Danashiri and her entourage.

 

Empress Danashiri's blood is boiling.

 

"I'm looking forward to seeing what you planned for the second round of competition," says Empress Dowager.

 

"I will ask them to answer a question that befits the position.  Don't worry," says Empress Danashiri.

 

"Have you heard the news about Hwanggak Temple?"  Empress Dowager asks as Empress Danashiri walks away.

 

Empress Danashiri turns around and smirks.  "What news would that be?"

 

"There was a fire in the hermitage you stayed at, and all the nuns there died.  You didn't know?"

 

Court Lady Seo gives Empress Dowager side eye.

 

"Who would do such a horrible thing?"  Empress Danashiri feigns shock.

 

"No one found out who did it, but I expect the heavens will punish that person severely.  Save us, Merciful Buddha."  This time, it's the Dowager's turn to confidently walk away with her entourage following close behind.

 

"Is that old lady trying to find me out?" Empress Danashiri fumes.

 

"Be calm, Your Majesty," Court Lady Seo whispers.  "Empress Dowager will never find out about the Hwanggak Temple."

 

********

 

Empress Dowager strolls the yard with Lord Jang and her entourage tagging along.  "The Empress received fertility treatments, you say?"

 

"Yes," says Lord Jang.  "I heard it from the Imperial Doctor himself.  Are you still suspicious?"

 

"Discreetly find out about the fire at Hwanggak Temple," say Empress Dowager.  "Seeing the Empress' behavior, she is deeply involved with that incident."

 

"Yes, I understand," says Lord Jang.

 

*********

 

"Your Majesty," says Moo Song.  "I will enter Hawk House."

 

"Can you do it alone?"  Wang Yoo asks.

 

"I doubt I will lose to those brutes in sword fighting," Moo Song admits.

 

"You must never underestimate them," says Wang Yoo.  "You could lose your life with one mistake."

 

"My life..." Moo Song says, "I will leave with you, Your Majesty."

 

*******

 

Tryouts for the Hawk House guard position are taking place late at night.

 

A disguised Wang Yoo, Eunuch Bang, and Jeom Bak watch from the sidelines.

 

Yeon Bisoo is observing the action with Heuk Soo from the balcony, while enjoying a tasty meal.  Yeon Bisoo cleverly conceals her identity from Wang Yoo and his crew by wearing a large black hat.

 

"Anyone else?"  A fighter asks.  "Come fight me!"

 

"He's very skilled," Heuk Soo observes.  "Is there anyone else who will face him?"

 

Moo Song pushes through the crowd of men.  "Let me have a fight with you."

 

"Where are you from?"  Heuk Soo asks.

 

"Someone who followed the smell of blood and got some food instead," says Moo Song.

 

"Fine," says Heuk Soo.  "Why don't you give it a try?"

 

Moo Song positions himself in the ring, ready to spar.  As the oppposing fighter swings his wooden sword, Moo Song deftly blocks him.

 

Unexpectedly, Moo Song hits him right in the stomach.

 

As the opposing fighter tries to strike again, Moo Song effectively deflects.

 

Heuk Soo and Yeon Bisoo observe in amazement.

 

"I think we found our man," says Heuk Soo.  "What's your name?"

 

"I'm Choi from Goryeo," says Moo Song.

 

"Come here, I like you," says Heuk Soo.  "I'll give you a drink."

 

"That was easy," Jeom Bak chuckles from the sidelines.

 

"He sure is talented like no other," Eunuch Bang agrees.

 

*******

 

Moo Song takes a seat at the table on the balcony.  Heuk Soo hands him a drink.

 

"Is that Heuk Soo?"  Wang Yoo asks.

 

"Yes, he even looks dismal," Eunuch Bang observes.

 

"Who's that next to him?"  Wang Yoo inquires.

 

"I don't think he's from Liaoyang," says Jeom Bak.

 

A covered cart rolls onto the compound.

 

"Your Majesty," Eunuch Bang whispers, "they're here."

 

On the cart is Hongga's corpse, covered by straw mats.

 

"Sir," one of the men approaches Heuk Soo.  "Hongga was attacked," he whispers.

 

Yeon Bisoo and Heuk Soo abruptly rise and exit.

 

Moo Song makes eye contact with Wang Yoo.  Wang Yoo nods.

 

Moo Song follows Heuk Soo and Yeon Bisoo into the yard.

 

Heuk Soo pulls the mats away, and reveals three corpses.

 

"Was it bandits?"  Yeon Bisoo asks.

 

"Among the bandits around here, there isn't anyone who would do this," says Heuk Soo. "The counterfeit notes they stole have our special mark only we know about.  They will surely use them, so watch the banknotes being spent in the marketplace."

 

"Yes, Sir," the men bow.

 

"How dare they, without any fear," says Heuk Soo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The rainbow of concubine candidates for Round Two gather in the main hall of the palace.  Seung Nyang stands out in her white hanfu, while everyone else is wearing more colorful pieces.

 

"The second round is a test to see your character," Empress Danashiri announces.  "Make and bring the most valuable food within the palace.  I will give you two shijin/four hours.  Head Eunuch, please observe the time."

 

"Yes, Your Majesty," Eunuch Dokman bows.  "It's two shijin.  If you go over that , you'll be disqualified."

 

"Please begin," says Empress Danashiri.

 

*********

 

The candidates race through the inner palace walkways to get to the open kitchens.

 

"Where's the kitchen?"  Lady Oh asks Yeon Hwa.

 

"These ladies will take you to your assigned kitchens and assist you," says Yeon Hwa.  "Hurry up and guide them," she instructs the palace maids behind her.

 

"Please come this way," say the palace maids.

 

Seung Nyang and Hong Dan are trailing behind, and they approach Yeon Hwa on the bridge.

 

"Where are you going?"  Yeon Hwa asks.

 

"I'm taking her to the kitchen, My Lady," Hong Dan replies.

 

"The kitchen assignment is over," Yeon Hwa says innocently.  "There isn't a kitchen for you."  If I can't fuck the Emperor, you can't either.

 

"My Lady, we're in the middle of a competition," Hong Dan says sweetly.

 

"Close your mouth and remain quiet," says Yeon Hwa.  She looks at Seung Nyang smugly.  "Why?  Are you sour?  Not only is it sour, but it's bitter for me to see your face."

 

Seung Nyang steps forward.  "Let me in the kitchen right away."

 

"You're going to strike me at this rate," Yeon Hwa taunts.  "I'm not just a court lady, but an Upper Court Lady now.  I'm addressed as 'My Lady.'"

 

"Assign me to the kitchen, I said," Seung Nyang asserts.

 

Yeon Hwa draws back her hand, and slaps Seung Nyang across the face.

 

Hong Dan gasps.

 

Yeon Hwa is feeling a sense of exhiliration that is the closest she's going to get to an orgasm.  "Here," Yeon Hwa sneers, "if you feel wronged, strike me back."

 

Seung Nyang takes several deep breaths.

 

"I don't have any worries since the Empress cares for me, but you'll probably get thrown out right away," Yeon Hwa gloats.

 

Seung Nyang looks at her hatefully.

 

"Imperial Concubine?"  Yeon Hwa smirks.  "How dare you dream of such things?  If you become an Imperial Concubine, I will burn all my fingers."

 

Yeon Hwa must have been completely oblivious while I was in the palace, Seung Nyang thinks.  Emperor Toghon hung around everywhere I went like a dog.  "I'll be sure to remember what you said."

 

"Before that, find the kitchen for yourself," Yeon Hwa sneers.  "You've probably never set foot in it."  Yeon Hwa pushes her way through the two women.

 

Hong Dan gasps.  Seung Nyang is not surprised.  Yeon Hwa has been eagerly awaiting "her day in court."  This cattiness was bound to happen sooner or later.

 

"What are you going to do without a kitchen?"  Hong Dan asks.

 

I have no fucking idea.  

 

*******

 

How convenient, the palace maids have locked up every kitchen.  Seung Nyang tests every door, hoping just one will open.

 

Hong Dan and Seung Nyang peer through a window and observe the candidates hurriedly cooking.  The gears in Seung Nyang's head turn.  How am I going to make this work?

 

*******

 

The doors to a kitchen finally open, and several candidates leave with their culinary creations.  The truth is, as concubines, they probably won't cook a damn thing, so this part of the competition is pretty pointless.

 

After they leave, Seung Nyang and Hong Dan scurry into a kitchen.

 

"Hong Dan, hurry up," says Seung Nyang.

 

Very few items remain in the kitchen.  Not much to cook, anything quickly, that is.  Think fast.  

 

They rush into another kitchen.  Same thing.

 

"We have no ingredients, and it's nearly time!"  Hong Dan panics.  "What are we going to do?"

 

Seung Nyang closes her eyes and sighs.

 

...To be continued...