American Perspectives: Mean Girls and Vendettas Pt. 1 ("기황후" Ep. 8)

 

 

"기황후" can be viewed on Viki or Youtube, as well as many other channels.  It is an amazing classic 사극, and this author is aware that it's not historically accurate.  The real life Empress Ki had a very contentious relationship with the Goryeo Dynasty.  And many liberties were most certainly taken with the fictionalized version of historical characters. Dialogue adapted from English Subtitle translations by the "Imperial Team at Viki.com"

 

 

 

Hong Dan opens the storage room door, and to her dismay, she sees Eunuch Baek and the Emperor in full splendor.  She runs back to the group of Mean Girl servants who are getting themselves off on hazing a bound up Seung Nyang.  (Since they're only allowed to screw the Emperor, and since it's highly improbable that he'll so much as look at them, they have to get this sexual tension out somehow, just like in a prison).

 

"The Emperor is here!"  Hong Dan whispers.

 

Yeon Hwa gasps in horror.  Who keeps blocking her?

 

There's a loud banging on the door, and Yeon Hwa looks at Seung Nyang hatefully.  "Untie her."

 

Two women quickly untie her, and remove the gag just before Eunuch Baek enters the room.

 

"What are you doing here?"  Eunuch Baek asks.

 

"We are training the new servant," Yeon Hwa says innocently.

 

There's a high probability that Eunuch Baek also knows what's up, but he's choosing not to dirty his hands with girly inner palace matters.  "Don't make too much noise."

 

All of the women, except Seung Nyang, bow as he exits.

 

"Good night, Eunuch Baek," says the ass kissing Yeon Hwa.

 

"It's the servants," Eunuch Baek tells Emperor Toghon.  He and his entourage slowly walk away.  If it's serious, his Auntie will handle it.

 

Hong Dan and Yeon Hwa wait for the entourage be out of earshot.

 

"He's gone," Hong Dan whispers.

 

Yeon Hwa's knees almost buckle.  Had she been busted...no time to think about that.  She picks up her whip.  "Now, where were we?"

 

Seung Nyang scowls at her.

 

Yeon Hwa cracks the whip on the ground.  "Undress her."

 

As a servant walks up to her, ready to rip off her jeogori, Seung Nyang grabs her wrist and twists it.  This is not the expected hair pull, slap, or scratch.  The servant screeches, and Seung Nyang pushes her into a very shocked Yeon Hwa.

 

Another servant tries to grab her, and Seung Nyang throws her aside, and onto the floor.

 

A third servant picks up a box, and charges at Seung Nyang, ready to knock her out with it.  Seung Nyang steps to the side, and the servant loses her footing.  Seung Nyang grabs her braid and throws her on the floor.

 

Yeon Hwa drops her whip in shock.  There's limits to what a little yappy, ankle biting chihuahua can do.  Especially when it awakens the wrath of a much stronger wolf.  Seung Nyang stands in front of her, and stares her down.  Realizing the whip is her only means of defense, Yeon Hwa frantically picks it up, and tries to threaten with it.  "Don't get closer."

 

Seung Nyang moves in on her, and as Yeon Hwa cracks the whip, Seung Nyang grabs it, wraps it around her hand, and pulls Yeon Hwa in.  She grabs Yeon Hwa's neck, tightening her grip.  "I almost died countless times getting here.  Even the grim reaper can't touch me.  Don't bother me anymore.  I don't want to have to take care of those suffering alongside me."  She pushes Yeon Hwa to the ground.

 

Seung Nyang drops the whip as she makes her grand exit.  Hong Dan's jaw drops as she realizes whose team she should be on.

 

Seung Nyang gets outside and runs down the wooden steps, and across the bridge.  She stops in the middle of the bridge, and realizes she has nowhere to go.  She's not a man anymore, when escape was easier, and options plentiful.  She's the Emperor's servant now in a distinctly foreign land, and she has nowhere to hide.

 

*******

 

Seung Nyang and Hong Dan are both standing in barrels doing laundry.  Seung Nyang looks very apathetic, while Hong Dan is looking at her with a mix of fear and admiration.

 

"I'm Hong Dan."

 

Seung Nyang looks over.

 

"I came from Goryeo, like you.  Euijoo."

 

Seung Nyang smiles.

 

"You were amazing yesterday!"  Hong Dan exclaims.  "It made me feel relieved!"  She motions her arm like a whip, and giggles.  "Yeon Hwa, that girl..."

 

"By chance," says Seung Nyang, "have you ever seen the emperor?"

 

"Of course.  I've even served him personally."

 

"Can you tell me everything...you know about him?"

 

"Huh?"  Hong Dan asks.

 

"Whatever it is," Seung Nyang whispers.

 

"He's amazingly...hard working."

 

This does not sound like the Emperor Seung Nyang babysat.  "Hard working?"

 

"Very much so," Hong Dan lies, as the walls have ears.  "He wakes up before the rooster and takes a bath.  And he starts off the day by lighting incense in the library.  After breakfast, he pores over the appeals from all over the country.  He's so meticulous, he looks at countless numbers of appeals and handles them.  And around the 17th period of the day, he studies martial arts."

 

Seung Nyang looks at her in disbelief.  "Martial arts?"

 

"Not only sword fighting, but he has also mastered spear fighting, stick fighting, and archery."

 

"Where is he at night?"  Seung Nyang asks skeptically.

 

"What do you mean?  He studies reading and writing in the library."

 

Seung Nyang rolls her eyes.

 

"He's so well read, he can read official documents that are known to be difficult, effortlessly."

 

Seung Nyang raises her hand.  The propoganda is giving her a headache.  "That's enough.  Thanks."  Seung Nyang steps out of the laundry barrel.

 

"Oh, right.  He's even being educated for his wedding night ahead of the ceremony."

 

"Wedding ceremony?" Seung Nyang asks.

 

"He's going to get married soon."

 

"Are you going to be attending him, too?"

 

"No, but I'm sure one or two from each room will be called.  They're supposed to pick some extra servants."

 

"Servants?"  Seung Nyang whispers thoughtfully.

 

The door opens and Yeon Hwa enters.

 

"Hey!  Wash mine, too," says Yeon Hwa.

 

"Give them to me," says Hong Dan.

 

Seung Nyang gives Yeon Hwa a steely stare.

 

Yeon Hwa takes the clothes.  "No.  I'd better do them myself."

 

"You said you're Yeon Hwa, right?"  Seung Nyang asks.  "Talk with me for a second."

 

"Sure," Yeon Hwa says uncomfortably.

 

*********

 

"You want to take part in the ceremony?"  Yeon Hwa asks as they stroll down the covered walkway.  She snorts derisively.  "You want to get noticed by the Emperor, too?  But then again, what wench doesn't want to change their destiny?  If we're lucky, we could even become royal concubines overnight.  But, keep dreaming.  Who would pick you?"

 

"Can you do it for me?"  Seung Nyang asks.

 

"I'll recommend you.  But you're new, so I don't know if the court lady will allow--"

 

Seung Nyang stares straight at her.  "Do whatever you can to get me chosen."

 

"Yes," Yeon Hwa says meekly.

 

"Thank you," says Seung Nyang.

 

As she walks away, Yeon Hwa sighs.  "That girl..."

 

***********

 

Seung Nyang pushes through the kitchen with a large, red, basket.  A servant stops her.  "Over there, pour it into the cauldron."

 

As Seung Nyang is dumping the liquid into the cauldron, she notices three knives on the table behind her.  She stealthily hides the smallest one in her sleeve.

 

"Hey, you!"  The servant says.

 

Seung Nyang looks at her in surprise.

 

"Go fetch more water."

 

"Yes," says Seung Nyang, relieved she didn't see her pocket the knife.

 

*******

 

Alone in the laundry room, she wraps a strip of white rag around the knife handle.  She contemplates her next move as she throws the knife at a bucket.  She pulls the knife out, and deliberates some more.

 

"For your sake, I will come back alive, no matter what," Seung Nyang remembers Wang Yoo saying.  "And you must stay alive for my sake.  I command you, Seung Nyang.  Do you understand?"

 

"Please forgive me," Seung Nyang whispers in the laundry room.  It seems like I will have to disobey your command, Your Majesty."

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Get rid of the deposed King," Talahai demands.  "His father was restored to the throne as the King of Goryeo."

 

Bayan resists the urge to roll his eyes.

 

"There could be trouble in respect to rank," Talahai continues, "so I'm telling you to get rid of him without anyone knowing."

 

"You guys poop, but want me to clean it up?"  Bayan asks.

 

"Father thinks he volunteered...on his own to come here.  No harm will come to you."

 

Bayan snorts derisively.  "Damn it.  I have enough to worry about, so why should I add more burden to myself?"

 

**********

 

Wang Yoo and his entourage enter a ger full of raggedy Goryeo soldiers.  Several immediately make room.

 

Byeong Soo and Jo Cham follow behind them.

 

"Who's Baek Ho Jang?"  Byeong Soo asks.

 

A man gets up and bows.

 

"They're new," says Byeong Soo, "so give them room."

 

Byeong Soo and Jo Cham quickly exit to get away from the strong scent of several unwashed men.

 

"Who's the King?"  Baek Ho Jang asks.

 

"This is him," says Moo Song.  "How do you know him?"

 

All of the Goryeo refugees kowtow.

 

"We're from Goryeo," says Baek Ho Jang.  "We heard the Yuan soldiers talking."

 

"Get up," says Wang Yoo.  Baek Ho Jang reluctantly rises.  "How many of you are there here?"

 

"At least half of the laborers," says Baek Ho Jang.  "We were temporarily transferred as a unit for subjugation.  But once we ran out of weapons and food due to repeated defeats, we were reduced to hard labor."

 

Another man speaks up.  "We're getting treated no better than animals."

 

"One of us died today by getting caught while escaping."

 

"What?"  Jeom Bak asks.

 

"Please help us, Your Majesty."

 

A Yuan soldier bursts through the door and blows his whistle.

 

The men immediately run outside.

 

"That is Deputy Commander Yeom's signal to gather," says Baek Ho Jang.  "He won't give you food if you're late.  So please come outside."

 

A soldier beats a drum as Wang Yoo and his men make their way outside.  They're a long way from the palace...

 

Bayan, Toqto'a, Talahai, Jo Cham, and Byeong Soo get on stage.  Bayan makes eye contact with Wang Yoo.  Then he nods at the drummer.

 

On every drum beat, the Goryeo soldiers drop to their knees. Wang Yoo and his entourage remain standing.  The guards above and around them draw their crossbows.

 

"Please lower yourselves," Baek Ho Jang insists anxiously.

 

"Your Majesty!"  Eunuch Bang pulls on his arm.  "Please."

 

Wang Yoo looks up at Bayan and Talahai.  He pushes Eunuch Bang and Moo Song aside.

 

"Your Majesty," Moo Song whispers.

 

With Bayan and Talahai scrutinizing, Wang Yoo lowers himself to the ground.  The rest of his entourage follows suit.  Bayan smirks.

 

The drum beats again.  The men rise.  It beats once more.  All the men, except Wang Yoo and his entourage, kneel.

 

Wang Yoo slowly lowers himself.

 

"Your Majesty," Eunuch Bang sighs.

 

The beats repeat, and the rising and lower continue.  It's degrading, but Wang Yoo has to choose his grievances wisely.

 

"Did you see?"  Bayan says to his men.  "It's very easy to tame them."

 

Talahai smirks.  "It's quite a sight to see a deposed King bow down to us."

 

"Yeom Byeong Soo," says Bayan.  "You're now in charge of these people."

 

"I will do my best, sir."

 

Wang Yoo is livid, but all he can do right now is use his time wisely, and strategize like hell.

 

************

 

Bayan is in his ger, studying a map of the area, and maneuvering his flag markers accordingly.

 

Two Yuan guards drag Wang Yoo in.  He looks at Bayan defiantly.

 

"I have to destroy the Turks," Bayan continues to study his map, "and obtain this Silk Road.  In order to do that, the most pressing matter is to build a strong army with these rotten troops.  So don't distract the soldiers.  If anyone gets in the way of military discipline, I will cut off his head, no matter who it is."

 

"Tell me what I can do to survive and get out of this place," Wang Yoo says flatly.

 

Bayan rises.  "Do you want to leave here alive?  You're dreaming."  Bayan himself doesn't anticipate leaving the encampment alive.  "Then kill all the Turks, even in your dreams.  The only way to leave here is for you and me to achieve success."

 

The gears in Wang Yoo's head begin to turn.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Tomorrow, you will become the Empress," El Temur tells Danashiri.  He's like a pageant parent hovering over his daughter in spite of paying the judges off.  "Are you getting ready?"

 

El Temur, Danashiri, and Tanqishi are sitting together at a table in her room.

 

Danashiri gazes in her small mirror, and casually combs her hair.  "What is there to get ready for?"  Spoken like a pageant daughter who is accustomed to her father bribing the judges.  "The servants will take care of the wedding."

 

Tanqishi hands her a small ceramic box.  "Put this on."

 

Danashiri looks at him curiously.

 

"This is the scent that makes men weak kneed.  The best quality musk."

 

Danashiri slides the box back to Tanqishi.  "I don't need this to make him weak kneed, so don't worry, Brother."  She is actually feeling mildly insulted.

 

El Temur chuckles.  "You must get pregnant on the first night.  There is no happier occasion than pregnancy inside the palace."

 

Danashiri wants to cringe.  The last thing she needs is sex tips from her dad.  "Oh...Father.  I'll take care of it."

 

El Temur nods his head in approval.

 

"That night, a special liquor made from Persian Silk Tree flowers will be served.  Make him drink just three cups," says Tanqishi.  "Then his breathing will get faster, elevating his temperature, and causing excitement.  Then, if you make him smell this scent I'm giving you--"

 

All of these suggestions about sex from her brother are giving her the creeps.  "Brother," she says firmly.  "I said I will take care of it."

 

"I'm not worried about you," says Tanqishi, "but that he might be as still as a rock."

 

"Even so, I don't need such things.  He has eyes, so I'm sure he recognizes beauty."

 

El Temur chuckles and grins in approval.  Tanqishi isn't so sure, as he witnessed first hand how attached Emperor Toghon was to Seung Nyang in her transgender male persona.

 

************

 

"Your eyes will not see if your heart doesn't feel," Eunuch Baek says to an apathetic Emperor Toghon.  "If the eyes see, the body will follow, and that's how you will come to share the bed."

 

"But...I have no feelings for her," Toghon says.

 

"You're healthy," says Eunuch Baek, "so why aren't you moved?"

 

"I keep seeing the Prime Minister's face on top of hers.  What do you want me to do?"

 

"My Lord, please do as I say, and don't think about such things."

 

Emperor Toghon abruptly turns to look at him.

 

"First," says Eunuch Baek, "purse your lips."  He makes a kissy face.

 

"P-p-purse your lips," Emperor Toghon stutters.

 

"Yes.  And then from a normal position, let--"

 

Emperor Toghon pushes his face away.  "Disgusting!  Get those away!"

 

Eunuch Baek bows.

 

Emperor Toghon shudders.  "How dare you act knowledgeable when you're a Eunuch?"

 

"Do you think I was born without anything?  When I was young, I also--"

 

Emperor Toghon gives him a look.

 

Eunuch Baek turns away and takes a deep breath.  He turns back to Emperor Toghon.  "But, My Lord, have you not been attracted to anyone before?"

 

"Attracted?"

 

"Yes, My Lord.  Think about that time well."

 

"That was when..."  He remembers a partially undressed Seung Nyang laying on top of him while he was sick.  "I was exiled to Goryeo."

 

"That's a relief!"  Eunuch Baek laughs.  "Think about her on your first night."

 

Emperor Toghon abruptly turns to Eunuch Baek, "But that person was..."  He motions Eunuch Baek to come closer.  "A man," Emperor Toghon whispers.

 

Eunuch Baek raises his eyebrows and gasps.  "Man?  A man!"

 

"When I think about him even now, my heart beats fast, and I get flushed.  So, I don't know what's going on."

 

"Oh my goodness.  How could this happen?"

 

***************

 

Eunuch Dokman jogs dow the covered walkway, but slows down and bows as he sees Tanqishi approaching.

 

"Head Eunuch," says Tanqishi.

 

Eunuch Dokman keeps his head lowered.

 

"Why did you choose her to become a servant?"  Tanqishi asks.

 

"I just followed the rules," says Eunuch Dokman.

 

"Rules?"  Tanqishi sneers.  "My sister is going to become the Empress.  Do you not know what that means?"

 

Eunuch Dokman softly sighs.  This Mongol version of a frat boy is giving him a headache.

 

"Since you've picked her as a servant, work her to death.  So much so that she will ask to see me.  Understand?"

 

Eunuch Dokman bows.

 

Tanqishi arrogantly walks away.

 

****************

 

The palace maids and Eunuchs are decorating the main entry area in preparation for the wedding.

 

Seung Nyang is quietly walking among her servant cohort, dressed in blue.

 

"The Empress will stand about here," Eunuch Dokman instructs, "and His Majesty will greet her from here."  He gestures to an area several yards away.  The palace maids and court ladies kneel in response.  "Everything will happen right here.  Understand?"

 

Seung Nyang pays close attention to Eunuch Baek's instructions.

 

About thirty steps from here to where the Emperor will meet the Empress, Seung Nyang thinks.

 

*********

 

Seung Nyang is in a quiet spot in the woods, practicing.  26, 27, 28, 29, 30.  She stops, positions her knife, turns, and throws.  The knife lands in the tree trunk perfectly.

 

Seung Nyang pulls it out.  I can't stab his heart from thirty steps away.  And I have to get it done in one move.

 

She turns around, and throws her knife again, this time hitting a poisonous snake on a different tree.  She pulls the knife out, and the dead snake falls on the ground.

 

Poison.  Snake poison.  She smiles.

 

************

 

Seung Nyang is alone in the kitchen with a bowl of poison from the snake she killed.  With a brush, she coats the knife blade in it.  She covers it with her makeshift sheath, and ties it to her arm.

 

 

...To be continued...