American Perspectives: The Damsel and the Dude Pt. 3 ("기황후" Ep. 3)

 

 

"기황후" can be viewed on Viki or Youtube, as well as many other channels.  It is an amazing classic 사극, and this author is aware that it's not historically accurate.  The real life Empress Ki had a very contentious relationship with the Goryeo Dynasty.  And many liberties were most certainly taken with the fictionalized version of historical characters. Dialogue adapted from English Subtitle translations by the "Imperial Team at Viki.com"

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seung Nyang is reluctantly following Eunuch Bang, terrified of what's going to happen next.  She is carefully observing her surroundings, wondering if there's a possibility that she may be imprisoned or executed.  In what seems like an eternity, they reach the closed doors to Wang Yoo's meeting room.

 

"His Majesty," Eunuch Bang bows, "I've brought Seung Nyang."  He looks at Seung Nyang and smiles.  "Hurry and go in," he whispers.

 

Seung Nyang looks like a deer in headlights.  She stiffly walks to the closed doors.

 

As the doors open, Seung Nyang is momentarily shocked by the bright sunlight from the windows.

 

"Hurry," Eunuch Bang grins.

 

She stiffly walks forward, her neck scrunched into her shoulders like a frightened turtle.  Her armor providing the perfect shell.  The doors loudly close behind her.  It feels like it's taking several hours as she approaches Wang Yoo's turned back.

 

"Your crime has been found out," Wang Yoo says authoritatively.

 

Seung Nyang fearfully drops to her knees.  "I've committed a crime punishable by death, Your Majesty."

 

His back is still turned.  "So, tell me yourself, what crime you've committed?"

 

"I've caused Your Majesty to be cursed."

 

"And?"

 

"I've dared to touch the King's face."

 

"And?"  Wang Yoo grins.

 

"Please kill me, Your Majesty!" Seung Nyang anxiously kowtows.

 

He silently chuckles.  He turns around and walks to her.  "Where have you been all this time?"

 

She raises her head.  "Huh?"  Her heart is pounding so loudly.

 

"I wanted to see you so much that my heart burned and my blood ran dry.  So, if that's not a crime punishable by death, what is?"

 

She looks at him curiously.  "Your Majesty?"

 

He smiles at her.  Her missed her so much, even though he doesn't yet know that she's not a man.  He kneels in front of her.  "You awful boy.  If you ever dare to leave my sight again, I'll shove you in the pig pen."

 

She looks up at him sadly, and he laughs.

 

"Get up," says Wang Yoo.  He helps her rise.  He gives her a big hug, and can't stop smiling.

 

Seung Nyang gasps.  She is fearful of showing any sort of affection because Wang Yoo cannot know that she's a woman, and he seems to be interested in more than friendship.  If he's gay, he'll be in for a huge surprise when they get intimate.  She is terrified of embracing him back.  Her feelings are very much mutual, but she must control herself.

 

"I'm happy to see you, Seung Nyang," says Wang Yoo.  He breaks his embrace, looks her in the eye, and smiles big.  "I really missed you.  I am so happy."

 

How close is he going to get?  Seung Nyang thinks, and will I be able to keep my secret?

 

 

********

 

Jo Cham and a disguised Yeom Byeong Soo are approaching Wang Go's home.  Byeong Soo has painstakenly concealed his identity with a sedge hat and a dark blue hanbok. 

 

As Byeong Soo enters the meeting room, he takes off his hat, and kneels before Wang Go.  "My name is Yeom Byeong Soo."

 

Wang Go eyes him warily.  He has trust issues because he must.  He didn't get this far through kindness and virtue.

 

"He is Ki Ja Oh's subordinate, and they escorted the exiled Prince," says Jo Cham.

 

"If you properly follow my orders," says Wang Go, "you will escape your small post and enjoy abundance for yourself and your future generations."

 

"I am awe-struck, You Highness," Byeong Soo fawns.  "Please give me your orders, whatever it is."

 

"Kill the Prince of Yuan."

 

Byeong Soo stops grinning, and his eyes widen.  He looks up at Wang Go.

 

"Since General Bayan cannot accompany him on the way to Daecheong Island, you end the Prince's life yourself."

 

This was not what Byeong Soo had in mind.

 

"Can you do it?" Wang Go asks.

 

"I will make sure to carry out your command," Byeong Soo says anxiously.

 

"You may leave now," says Wang Go.

 

"Yes, Sir," Byeong Soo kowtows.  He rises and exits.

 

"Did you say that he is a subordinate that Ki Ja Oh trusts?"  Wang Go asks.

 

"To ax one's foot, isn't a trusted ax the easiest?"  Jo Cham asks.

 

"Bayan's failure has become an opportunity for me."

 

Jo Cham looks at him quizzically.

 

"If I can win the favor of Prime Minister El Temur," Wang Go continues, "this nation's royal throne will become mine."

 

*******

 

Byeong Soo slowly exits Wang Go's residence.  "You don't need a rich family background to succeed.  Why not me?  Who says this Yeom Byeong Soo can't succeed?  So live viciously.  Vicious and tough."

 

*******

 

Wang Yoo, Eunuch Bang, and Moo Song descend the palace steps.  Byeong Soo, Ki Ja Oh, Bul Hwa, and Seung Nyang kneel in the courtyard.

 

"Your Majesty," says Ki Ja Oh.  "Preparations for our travel are complete."

 

"You have a heavy responsibility," says Wang Yoo.  "You must not let the Prince be harmed."

 

"I, Ki Ja Oh, accept your Royal Command."

 

"What happened to Bayan and his party?"  Wang Yoo asks.

 

"Everyone returned to Yuan except Lord Jang," says Eunuch Bang.

 

"Lord Jang?"  Wang Yoo inquires.

 

"He is someone who shared the same viewpoints as the Prince," Ki Ja Oh explains.  "I believe that he is careful, and you don't need to worry about him."

 

Wang Yoo nods and looks over at Seung Nyang.  He was so excited about her that he couldn't sleep.  "I will give you an important mission," he had told her the night before.  "You must protect the Prince from now on.  Become his shadow, and examine his every movement.  Do you understand?"

 

Seung Nyang and Wang Yoo nod at each other.

 

"You must not allow even a single mistake," says Wang Yoo.  "Do you understand?"

 

"Yes, we understand!"  Ki Ja Oh and his men respond.

 

An evil plan is cooking in Byeong Soo's rat bastard brain as he hides his smirk.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Empress Dowager Budashiri is spoon feeding very sick and unconscious six year old Emperor Rinchinbal.  "You have to get well soon."  The medicine dribbles from his lips.

 

The last several imperial reigns have been a whirlwind within a very short timespan, such as Emperors mysteriously dying at lightning speed.  This young Emperor's fate does not look promising.

 

"Your bud has not bloomed yet," says Empress Dowager Budashiri.  "How can you suffer so from illness?"

 

The wooden doors open, the abrupt sound intruding on this moment between Auntie and Nephew.  "Your Highness," Court Lady Yeom announces, "Prime Minister has arrived."

 

Empress Dowager Budashiri has to hide her agitation.  This man has been a real thorn to the royal family, and if she could, she'd kill him with her own bare hands.

 

Prime Minister El Temur obligatorily bows to her, but they both know he doesn't genuinely respect her.  "I didn't know you would be here, Your Highness, The Empress Dowager."

 

"What brings you here, Prime Minister?"  Empress Dowager Budashiri asks.  Please leave.  Her gorgeous golden crown makes her look extremely regal, empowered, and something worth emulating.

 

"What do you mean?"  El Temur pretends to be shocked.  "I have stayed up all night worrying about his Majesty's health."

 

"Someone who worries so much exiles his brother who will succeed his throne, to the faraway land of Goryeo?"  Oh, how she wishes this parasite would fucking choke.

 

"You know that it was the will of the Royal Court."

 

The Royal Court he's pimping..."And at whose beck and call is the Royal Court?"  Empress Dowager Budashiri raises an eyebrow.

 

"The only flaw that I possess is that I care too much about protecting our nation," says El Temur.  **In real life, however, it was not Prime Minister El Temur who was behind Toghon's exile. It was Empress Dowager Budashiri, who made the accusation that Toghon was not actually Emperor Mingzong's son, and she also had Toghon's stepmother executed.**

 

Don't pee on my leg and tell me that it's raining..."I'm sure that is true," Empress Dowager Budashiri elects to say instead.  Though she really wanted to say the first thought that came into her head.  She walks away from the bed, and lets El Temur take her place.  She has a pretty good idea of what he intends to do.  She can get more from Toghon anyway, provided her people follow her instructions to the letter.  Therefore, she makes no effort in stopping El Temur.

 

El Temur sits on the edge of the bed as Empress Dowager exits.  He lifts up the spoon.  "Your Majesty.  Your brother who was exiled to Goryeo, was killed by the blade of robbers, I hear."  He puts the medicine in the unconscious boy's mouth.  "So please stop struggling, and pass on to the afterlife now.  If you are alone here, it will get boring.  So, you shoud hurry and join your older brother, shouldn't you?"

 

Talahai enters the room and bows.  "Father, Bayan has just arrived."

 

"Did he bring the Prince's body?"

 

"About that," Talahai says nervously, "he said that he failed."

 

"These idiots," El Temur growls.  He drops the spoon on the young Emperor's neck.  He looks down at him in a sinister manner.  "Did you hear that?  So don't die yet.  For Yuan's sake, you can only die after your brother does."

 

 

 

 

 

Bayan and Toqto'a are in the royal prison getting the crap beat out of them by Tanqishi's men.

 

"Please stop!"  Bayan pleads.  "Please let us go."

 

Toqto'a suffers in silence.

 

"Tanqishi, please stop," Bayan begs.  "Weren't we friends before?"

 

There is no such thing as true friends in politics...

 

"Please, go easy on us," Bayan continues.

 

Tanqishi smirks.  He rises from his seat.  "Shut your mouth!"  He grins cruelly.  "You failed to carry out Prime Minister's orders.  And now you dare to want to live?"  He slaps the wooden yoke around Bayan's neck.  "What are you doing?  Beat them until they're dead!"

 

"Tanqishi!  Tanqishi!"  Bayan screams.

 

The whips lash across their bodies.

 

El Temur and Talahai descend the stairs into the torture chamber.

 

"Prime Minister," Tanqishi bows.

 

"Please kill us," Toqto'a says to El Temur.

 

El Temur approaches Bayan.

 

"I've committed a crime punishable by death," Bayan admits.  "Don't hit us like this.  Please just kill us instead."

 

"Why did you return before going to Daecheong Island?"  El Temur asks.

 

"King of Goryeo figured out our plan."

 

"You stupid idiot!"  El Temur growls.  "You went all that way, and you can't break a little child's finger?"

 

"There are not enough words to express my apology."

 

"Imprison them," El Temur commands.

 

"Father," says Tanqishi.  "They have committed a great crime."

 

"We must immediately kill them and feed them to the vultures," Talahai agrees.

 

"It's not the time to take their lives," says El Temur.

 

As El Temur exits, Tanqishi disdainfully looks back at Bayan and Toqto'a.  "How dare you?  How dare you bring shame to my father?"  He furiously kicks Bayan in the chest.  He kicks him again before bringing out his whip and lashing Bayan's torso.  He whips until he no longer has the energy, and he walks out with his men.

 

"Uncle, are you alright?"  Toqto'a asks.

 

"Yeah," Bayan grunts.  "Just you wait.  If I don't die this time, Tanqishi and Talahai, I will tear them to pieces with my own hands!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Daecheong Island," El Temur is studying his model of Goryeo and Yuan. "Daecheong Island?"

 

"Now that they've arrived at the island, an assassination won't be easy," says Talahai.

 

"And if the King of Goryeo figured out our plan--" says Tanqishi.

 

"In all my life, I have never allowed anyone to live once I've decided to kill them.  Whether that was my enemy or the Emperor, not anyone," says El Temur.

 

Tanqishi and Talahai look down.

 

"If the Prince reached Daecheong Island," El Temur continues, "that must become his grave!"  He slams a marker down onto a model of the island.

 

 

*******

 

Toghon is having a terrible dream.  He's walking through the palace, and he senses someone behind him, but when he turns around, no one is there.  He walks through the door, and sees his father tied up on the throne.

 

"Royal Father."

 

"Don't come near," says his father.  "You must not."

 

El Temur emerges from the shadows, carrying a sword.  He looks at Toghon hatefully.  Without warning, he slashes Toghon's father across the torso.

 

"Royal Father!"  Toghon screams.

 

El Temur looks at him.

 

"Son, my son," whispers his father.

 

"Royal Father," Toghon sobs.

 

"Don't die," says his father.  "You must live and avenge my death."  He bleeds from his mouth.

 

"Royal Father," Toghon sobs.

 

"You are the one who must take the throne..."  He falls to the floor.

 

"Royal Father?  Please don't die, Royal Father.  Royal Father?"  Tears stream down Toghon's face.

 

El Temur points his bloody sword at Toghon.  "Don't come," says Toghon.

 

El Temur moves closer.

 

"Don't come near."  Toghon falls on his side.  "Don't come near me."

 

El Temur raises his sword, and Toghon wakes up screaming.

 

Seung Nyang is sitting against the wall across from his bed.  "It will be awhile until daybreak.  Please sleep some more."

 

"I need to pee," says Toghon.

 

Seung Nyang puts the chamber pot on his table, and turns her back.

 

"Hey," says Toghon.  He lifts up his shirt, exposing his pants.  "I have never undone my waist sash myself.  Didn't you say you will serve me?  I really need to pee."

 

Seung Nyang sighs.  Can you say weaponized incompetence?  She turns her head away and feels for his waist sash.  She really doesn't want an eyeful of his junk.  If it were Wang Yoo, on the other hand...

 

"That's right," Toghon says.

 

Seung Nyang wants to barf.  His pants fall to his ankles, exposing his undershorts.  He looks at her expectantly.

 

"Just pull it off," he says.

 

Ick!  She sighs and looks at him sharply.  "I've never pulled off anyone's underwear, either."

 

"What did you say?"  Toghon asks.

 

"Pee in your pants or not, do whatever you want."  She turns away.

 

He looks like he's going to strike her, but he decides against it, since none of his people are here.

 

She can hear him peeing, and she covers her ears in disgust.  This panty waist is the most abhorrent man she has ever met, and it makes her miss Wang Yoo even more.

 

******

 

The following morning, Seung Nyang carries out his chamber pot.  "What?  He has never undone his own sash before?"

 

******

 

Seung Nyang is at Toghon's table, sampling his food for poison.  He watches her with annoyance.

 

"Please eat," says Seung Nyang.

 

He stands up and walks to the edge of the table.  He kneels, and looks like he's going to eat.  However, he's a man child, so that doesn't happen.  Instead, he flips the table over, wasting food that the Goryeo commoners could never afford, and that the royalty is paying for with what little they have.

 

Seung Nyang shrieks, her hatred for him increasing exponentially.  She wishes she could take a whip to him, and smack him as hard as she can.

 

He giggles with delight.

 

Your parents must be so proud, Seung Nyang thinks.

 

He sticks his tongue out at her.  A very strong action for someone who doesn't know how to take off his pants...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Toghon is irritably pacing the courtyard, while Seung Nyang is standing guard, secretly enjoying the sight of the Yuan Dynasty Prince not getting his way.  Bul Hwa looks back at Toghon and smiles, as if he's entertaining a three year old, instead of a teenage boy.  Toghon looks at him disdainfully, as expected of a teenage male.  He shifts his stare over to Seung Nyang, and snaps the skirt of his deel in disgust.  He gets behind Seung Nyang and pretends to strike her.  Seung Nyang looks back at him, knowing exactly what he's doing, like a skilled teacher in a fourth grade classroom.  He immediately walks back to his quarters.

 

Behind a wall, Byeong Soo is observing their interactions very closely.

 

 

******

 

While Seung Nyang is sleeping against a wall, Toghon pulls out some calligraphy brushes, and gets ready to throw them at her like darts.  As he is about to do so for real, she opens her eyes, and he pretends to examine the brush.

 

"If you're tired," says Toghon, "go take a nap somewhere."

 

Nice try. "I'm fine," says Seung Nyang.

 

"Well, I'm not!"  Toghon tantrums.  "Please just be gone from my sight."

 

If I could, I would..."His Majesty commanded me to assist you, Your Highness."  Trust me, I'd happily kill you myself...

 

Toghon sighs.  "You're about to drive me crazy."

 

The feeling is mutual...

 

"Aren't you sick of it, too?"  Toghon asks.  "You are human, after all, so how could you not be?"

 

"I am only following my Master's command."

 

"Uh, excuse me!"  Toghon sighs and slap the brush down on the table.  "King of Goryeo grabbed me by the collar.  If I become Emperor of Yuan, I will return that indignity to him 1,000 times over.  And you will need to make sure to watch.  I will make him beg me until his hands become as calloused as his feet.  He will cry and wail for me to save him."

 

"He is the one who will make our Goryeo powerful.  He will never kneel in front of anyone, no matter what."

 

"How nice for you to have such a nutcase as your king," Toghon sneers.  Again, strong words for someone who doesn't know how to pull down his own pants.

 

"Even animals can recognize a great deed, they say.  So don't forget that the person protecting your life right now is him."

 

"Oh, darn it," Toghon mutters.  He lays down on his bed, and rolls over to his side.   He starts kicking around like a two year old in the grocery store when he doesn't get a treat.

 

Seung Nyang looks away so he can't see her giggling.  I'm more of a man than he is!!

 

*******

 

Bul Hwa yawns as he walks outside, late at night.  Byeong Soo catches up with him in the yard.

 

"You're working hard," says Byeong Soo.

 

"Is it time to switch shifts already?"  Bul Hwa asks.  He gestures for the guards behind him to leave.  "I wish I had some rice wine."  He stretches his arms.

 

"I have a bottle of soju in my quarters," says Byeong Soo.

 

"And you want me to drink that?"

 

"Just leave a little for me."

 

Bul Hwa chuckles, and slaps Byeong Soo's shoulder.  "All I have is you, thanks."

 

After Bul Hwa leaves, Byeong Soo looks towards Toghon's quarters.

 

******

 

Toghon is pouring some tea when he realizes the pot is empty.  "Seung Nyang, are you outside?"  He puts the pot down.  "Bring me some water."

 

No response.

 

"Seung Nyang?"  He whines.  "Seung Nyang, boy?"

 

*******

 

Seung Nyang is nowhere near him.  Instead, she's in the private bathing quarters, prepping to wash her face.  She takes off her necklace, and splashes her face with the lukewarm water.  She goes over her neck and arms.  She's relishing the break from the whiny Toghon.

 

She finishes up, and goes outside, and sees Bul Hwa and Ki Ja Oh on her way back.  She bumps into Bul Hwa, and unknowingly drops her necklace with her parents' rings.

 

"Aren't you sleeping yet?"  Seung Nyang asks.

 

"We're going to have a drink," says Bul Hwa.  "Do you want some, too?"

 

"The Prince is alone right now."

 

"You better go to him, then," says Ki Ja Oh.

 

Seung Nyang bows.  As she walks away, Bul Hwa picks up her necklace.  "Seung Nyang, this---"

 

But she doesn't hear him.

 

"Stop," says Ki Ja Oh.  "That ring?"  He anxiously grabs the necklace, and his heart comes close to stopping.  He examines the rings just to be sure, and his heart races as the undeniable stares him in the face.

 

"Wasn't that yours, Hyeongnim?"  Bul Hwa asks.

 

Ki Ja Oh gasps.

 

*******

 

An assassin stealthily blends in with the shadows as he sneaks into Toghon's room.

 

Toghon is peacefully sleeping, taking all this Goryeo protection for granted, completely oblivious to what is looming over his bedside.  Byeong Soo is thrilled at the perfect opportunity that this idiot prince is presenting.  Finally, some upward mobility.  His face is covered, and he sneaks to Toghon's bed.  He prepares to draw his sword...

 

Toghon sleepily asks, "Where have you been?  Why are you so late?  Go and bring me some water, my throat is burning."  His back is facing Byeong Soo, and again, he takes the situation for granted, presuming that everyone there wishes him well.

 

Byeong Soo slowly draws his sword.  It's like taking candy from a baby.

 

******

 

Seung Nyang is casually making her way back, enjoying the peace and quiet.

 

"And when you return," she hears Toghon demand from his quarters, "bring me some dried persimmons if there are any."

 

Warning!  Warning! Warning!  Instant red flag.  She throws the clothes she was carrying off to the side, and draws her sword.  She runs to Toghon's room at lightning speed.

 

"Oh really, is he deaf?"  Toghon asks impatiently.  He rolls over and comes face to face with a disguised Byeong Soo.

 

Byeong Soo executes a dol strike, but Toghon ducks, and instead the ceramic pieces behind him are shattered.  As Byeong Soo is about to strike again, Seung Nyang pushes through the doors, and aims her sword at his back.

 

"Who are you?"  Seung Nyang asks.

 

"Seung Nyang?"  Toghon gasps.

 

Byeong Soo charges at her and starts to slash, but Seung Nyang skillfully deflects every cut.  Their swords cross, and their eyes lock.  They reposition, but the swords still cross.

 

"Who sent you?"  Seung Nyang asks.