American Perspectives: Resisting Xuanji Pt. 2 ("Love and Redemption" Ep. 51)

 

 

 

“Love and Redemption” can be viewed on   Viki or Youtube . Dialogue adapted from English subtitle translations by "Destined Love Team at Viki.com." "Love and Redemption," is based on the novel "Liu Li Mei Ren Sha," by Shi Si Lang. The writings presented here are based on observations from the television series.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Xuanji is sleeping in Sifeng's bed when he finally brings her a tray with soup and ointment.  He carefully places it on the nightstand.  He takes a seat by the bed, and carefully lifts the bottom of her skirt.  He sees the huge red blister, just below her knee.

 

He looks at her, and she's still sound asleep.  She has emotionally exhausted herself the past few days.

 

He gets the ointment and an applicator.  He carefully applies the medicine to her blister, going to great lengths not to hurt her.  He begins to feel drowsy, and he looks over at her face.  He puts the ointment and applicator back on the tray, and he covers Xuanji with a blanket.

 

He begins to feel nauseous.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sifeng climbs up the steps to his home, wearing his distinctive blue cloak and hood.

 

"Sifeng!"  Xuanji says happily.  She's wearing a beautiful lavender hanfu.  "Sifeng."  She has a small bowl in her hands.  "Where have you been so early this morning?  I couldn't find you anywhere."

 

Sifeng walks past her.

 

"Ah!"  says Xuanji.  "Sifeng," she carefully runs to his table, "I made this sanqing tea according to your habits."  She cautiously places it on the table.  "Try it."

 

"Young Master Yi.  Young Master Yi," A'Lan announces her arrival.  She sets a basket of food on the table.

 

"Miss A'Lan," says Sifeng.

 

"I've brought you breakfast, and the milk tea, I made myself.  Try and see if it's nice."  She removes the top lid from the multi-tiered basket.

 

"Sifeng usually drinks sanqing tea in the morning," says Xuanji.  "He doesn't drink milk tea."  Pick your battles...

 

"I lost the habit long ago," says Sifeng.

 

Xuanji looks at him in surprise.

 

A'Lan smirks.  "Right.  The past is the past.  He's different now."  She takes out the tea and hands it to him.  "Young Master Yi, have a sip.  I promise you'll like it!"  And A'Lan really shouldn't be caught between them. She's only going to get burned.  But that kind of wisdom flies straight out the window when a hot guy is paying attention to you, and seems to be within reach.

 

Xuanji looks down, trying to save face.

 

Sifeng takes a sip.

 

"Is it good?" A'Lan asks.

 

Sifeng hesitates.  It really isn't his taste, but he really wants Xuanji to go away.  "It's sweet and fragrant.  Quite refreshing."

 

Xuanji feels mortified as A'Lan gloats.

 

"Take a bite of my crispy cake," says A'Lan.  She hands him a plate full of cakes.  "Here, try it."

 

Sifeng carefully takes a bite.  "It seems like your cooking skill has improved a lot."

 

"It took me long enough to learn them," A'Lan says sweetly.  "Right.  Young Master Yi, are you going to collect herbs today?  Bring me along with you."

 

Xuanji looks at Sifeng with disappointment.

 

"You promised to take me with you to practice medicine," says A'Lan.

 

"I do need to collect herbs up the hill," says Sifeng.  "Let's go together, then."  He rises from the table, and A'Lan smiles, thinking she has won.  Oh, girl, in a situation like this, you aren't really winning.  Get the hell out while you can!  The two completely ignore Xuanji as they walk towards the door.

 

"Sifeng..." Xuanji starts.

 

"Your wound is much better than yesterday," says Sifeng.  "If you've stayed here long enough, hurry and leave, then.  Let's go," he says to A'Lan.

 

Internally, A'Lan is jumping for joy.  She has no clue what she's getting herself tangled up in.  Ladies, no matter how tempting and ego boosting it may be, avoid the dual female love triangle at ALL COSTS.  The only person who might win in this scenario is the man, while you have two very angry, very badly burned women.  STAY AWAY!!

 

 

 

 

 

A'Lan and Sifeng are walking through a grassy area, collecting herbs.

 

"Young Master Yi," says A'Lan, "I've helped you out again just now.  How are you going to thank me?"

 

"Thank you very much, Miss A'Lan," says Sifeng.  "But I was using you when I did it."  Exactly!  "My conscience smites me."  He's doing her a favor by telling her this.  Most men would not extend the privilege of being so honest.

 

"It's fine," says A'Lan.  Even though he has communicated this to her, she has fallen into the trap that many women who are the pawn in the love triangle have descended into.  She hopes that he'll see her as the better offer, and sweep her off her feet.  (It won't happen.  Don't do it. Even if it does, you'll be riddled with trust issues).  "That Xuanji is so annoying.  I don't want her to pester you, either.  Besides, I have to get rid of her, so that I can come and visit you."

 

Sifeng pauses.  Even though he feels he has already made his intentions clear, he now has to be a little more harsh in enforcing the boundaries.  "Miss A'Lan, if you want to learn a medical skill, you can come and look for me.  If you have any other intentions, then it's unnecessary."

 

A'Lan's face drops.  Sifeng's hairpin is prominently placed in her hair.  She was really hoping for something more.  "Young Master Yi, don't you understand my feelings?"  She's beginning to see that she has been making a huge ass of herself the whole entire time.  Which is exactly what happens when women involve themselves in dual female love triangles.  How is she going to face everyone after making such grandiose proclamations of love at the Inn?

 

"I'm sorry, A'Lan," says Sifeng.  "I don't want you to get the wrong idea.  I have no feelings for you.  Not now.  Not ever."

 

"Why?"  Asks A'Lan.  "Am I not good enough for you?"

 

"No, you're very good.  But..."

 

She really doesn't want to know.  "All right, say no more.  I didn't hear anything.  After this, I'll only learn medical skills from you, and learn how to capture demons.  We'll talk about that in the future."  Realisitically, even that can't happen because the flames of false hope will continuously be fanned every time she sees him.

 

"Okay," Sifeng says quietly.  His clear boundaries with women are the gold standard that every woman should ask for from her boyfriend or husband.  A man who does not have clear boundaries with women is a giant red flag.

 

"Right," she self consciously takes his hairpin out of her hair.  That's another thing: a gift that was originally given to another woman, returned, and then given to the new woman.  Ick!!  Huge red flag.  "I spent ages fixing this hairpin, so that it's exactly the same as before."  She hands him the pin.

 

"Thank you," says Sifeng.

 

"Sifeng!"  Calls Xuanji.

 

Goddamnit!  A'Lan thinks.  How much did this woman hear?

 

"Sifeng!  Wait for me!"  Xuanji limps and runs through the weeds.  "Sifeng!  Wait for me!  Sifeng!"

 

A'Lan rolls her eyes.  "She's everywhere.  Young Master Yi, don't worry.  I'll help you chase her away."

 

"Never mind," says Sifeng.  "Let's go."

 

"Sifeng, wait for me!"  Xuanji trips and falls.

 

A'Lan rolls her eyes.  "Young Master Yi, let's go."  Flames of false hope are being vigorously fanned.

 

With A'Lan's arm around him, he turns and walks away.

 

Xuanji tries to pick herself up, and she sees two Rainbow Butterflies flying by.  "Double Winged Rainbow Butterflies?"  She carefully stands up.  She limps even worse as she chases after them.

 

Sifeng and A'Lan turn around, and Sifeng is disappointed to see she isn't there.

 

"She finally left," A'Lan smirks, firmly believing she still has a chance.  "You ignored her for so long, she might have given up."

 

Sifeng doesn't feel good about this.

 

"I don't think she'll come back," A'Lan happily continues.  "However, she's unable to move freely.  How can she disappear in an instant?  I wonder if she'll fall again?"

 

"A'Lan, pick up some bupleurum from the back hill.  I'll take these herbs back home."

 

"Okay," A'Lan says.

 

 

 

 

 

Xuanji limps towards the edge of a cliff in order to see the Double Winged Rainbow Butterflies.   They move way out of range, and she's ready to go further.

 

"Xuanji!"  Yells Sifeng.

 

"Sifeng, look!"  She points to the butterflies.  "Double Winged Rainbow Butterflies!"  They promptly disappear.  "They're gone."  She feels very disappointed.

 

Sifeng looks over at her sadly.  He turns to walk away.

 

"Sifeng!  Sifeng!"  Xuanji grabs his cloak.  "Did you leave because you were mad?"

 

Sifeng moves his arm from her.  "I don't want to see you again.  Quickly leave."

 

"I won't.  I won't ever leave you.  It took me so long to finally find you.  I would rather die than leave you."

 

Sifeng sighs.  "If you don't leave, I'll be the one who dies."

 

"If we can't cure the Lover's Curse in the end, and if you're going to die, I'll die with you.  Don't ever think you can escape from me!"  She summons her dagger, and slashes her wrist.

 

Sifeng looks at her in surprise.  "What are you doing?"  Yells Sifeng.

 

"From now on, every time you're attacked by the Lover's Curse, I'll cut myself!  If you're in pain, I'll be in pain with you.  If you want to die, I'll die with you!"

 

"Don't treat your life like it's a child's game."

 

"I'm not treating my life like a game.  You won't believe everything I say.  You jumped to a conclusion.  I didn't have a heart before, but can't I change?  I didn't understand before.  Can't I change now?  I was afraid of loneliness before, that's why I refused to let you go.  But later, I discovered loneliness wasn't the reason I wanted to be with you.  I really want to be with you everyday till death tears us apart.  Sifeng, I spent more than 500 days finding you.  If none of these can move your heart, you can leave again.  But I'll continue searching for you.  Be it ten or twenty years.  Until the day when you finally believe that I love you."

 

"Whether I believe it or not," says Sifeng, "it's meaningless now.  It's too late.  Go and look for your Rainbow Butterflies."

 

"Sifeng, I wanted to capture Rainbow Butterflies because of a legend I heard.  They say Double Winged Rainbow Butterflies are the guardians of love.  If a couple sees the rainbow butterflies, they can reunite again.  As for those in love, if they can make a wish under the rainbow butterflies, they can grow old together, and be together for all life times.  But I...I couldn't catch them just now."  Xuanji starts to cry.

 

"This is fate," says Sifeng.  "It's over for us.

 

"I don't believe it," Xuanji says firmly.

 

"If you don't go, then I'll leave.  I'll leave Xigu Town."

 

"If you don't want me to follow behind you, I'll wait.  I'll wait until the day you're willing to see me again."

 

"What if I don't return forever?"

 

"Then I'll wait for you forever."

 

Sifeng begins to shiver.

 

"Sifeng!"  Xuanji grabs his arm.

 

"If you truly want to wait forever, wait as you wish, then."  He walks past Xuanji, leaving her alone to cry.

 

 

 

 

 

Xuanji is on the porch steps of his empty home in the pouring rain.  She's cold, but as promised, she's going nowhere.  She begins to sneeze.  She looks at the fresh cut on her wrist.

 

 

 

 

 

Sifeng is sitting in the glacial pool, trying to recover.  It hurts so much.  He vomits blood.

 

He looks up at the rock wall, and sees the Snow Lingzhi mushroom is growing.

 

 

 

 

"Sifeng!"  Xuanji runs down the porch steps on a nice, sunny day.  "Sifeng!  Sifeng!"  She runs across the yard.  "Sifeng!"

 

 

 

 

 

A'Lan is sitting at a table in the dining room at the inn, staring off into space.  Xuanji approaches her.

 

"Miss A'Lan, did Sifeng come over here?"

 

"Young Master Yi?  Isn't Young Master Yi with you?"

 

"He didn't come back last night, I..."

 

"Young Master Yi has disappeared?"  She looks at Xuanji judgmentally and stands up.  "He must have been annoyed by you, and so he left!"

 

"Sifeng," Xuanji whispers.  She runs out the door before A'Lan can make another catty comment.

 

 

 

 

 

"Sifeng!  Sifeng!"  Xuanji limps while she runs into the forest.  She had just spent most of the day in the marketplace, and had no luck.  "Sifeng!  Sifeng!"

 

The forest isn't looking very promising, either.  She stumbles through the woods, yelling his name, hoping for something.

 

Snow begins to fall, and Xuanji feels very dejected.  She sits down and cries.  "How could you go off like that?  I have so many things I haven't told you.  At that time, I made the vow to my dad because he thought you were a demon from Tianxu Hall.  I said it because he threatened me with his death.  But deep inside my heart, I told God that the vow didn't count.  You never hear what I just say, but I don't mean every word that you've heard, Sifeng."

 

Sifeng is hidden behind a tree, listening to her.  He misses her so much.  She has no clue how much he misses her, but he doesn't want her to become the Devil Star, and he doesn't want to die.  Is there any way they can be together without it ending in tragedy?

 

"I told you I'll wait for you here," Xuanji sniffles.  "I'll definitely wait for you.  No matter how long it takes, I'll wait until you come back.  When the time comes, you'll know what I truly meant."

 

Xuanji, so what if I believe your sincere love?  He rests his head against the tree trunk.  I don't even know how long I'll live.

 

Xuanji gets up and walks away.

 

I hope my disappearance will make you give up.  Leave this place...and forget about me eventually.

 

 

 

 

 

Xuanji is waiting under a snowy shelter in Sifeng's yard.  A'Lan approaches her.  "Have you gone insane?  He's already left.  He won't know, even if you freeze to death!  Hurry and go inside the house."

 

Xuanji shakes her head.  "No.  I promised him...that if he leaves, I...I'll keep waiting for him here.  What if one day, he suddenly thinks about me, and comes back?  What if he gets tired one day, and comes home?"  She shivers as the snow covers her hair and clothes.  "If I keep my promise to him, I'll get to see him again."

 

"No," says A'Lan.  "If you go on like this, you will freeze to death before he comes back.  Let's go in, and warm yourself, okay?"

 

"I promised Sifeng that I'd wait for him.  If he doesn't see me on his way back, he'll think I've given up on him.  I don't want that."

 

A'Lan stands up.  "You want to be crazy?  Just do as you wish, then!"  She is seriously envious of Xuanji's dedication, as she would never go this far.

 

 

 

 

Sifeng and A'Lan cross paths as A'Lan has a cloak for him to wear in this awful weather.

 

"Young Master Yi."

 

"Miss A'Lan.  Has Xuanji left?"

 

"I think she's completely insane.  It's snowing heavily now, and yet she's still sitting by the door, refusing to go inside.  She insisted on waiting for you.  You didn't see what she's like.  She's almost become a snowman.  Where did she get her obstinancy?  By the way, Young Master Yi, I've brought a winter coat for you.  It's getting colder and colder.  I think you may need it."

 

"Miss A'Lan, do me another favor.  Send this winter coat to Xuanji.  Tell her I won't be coming back.  Tell her not to wait any longer."

 

"I'll surely do as you instructed," says A'Lan.  "But...I'm afraid it will be futile."  Jabbing at Xuanji has finally lost its charm.

 

 

 

 

 

A'Lan brings Sifeng's winter cloak to a very cold Xuanji.  "Do you think Young Master Yi will come back if you act like this?   It's been so long.  What you're doing is meaningless."

 

Xuanji is beginning to look like she's near death.

 

"It's snowing heavily now," says A'Lan.  "If you refuse to eat, drink, and sleep, how long can you keep this up?"

 

"This is Sifeng's way home," says Xuanji.  "Don't get in the way.  He won't be able to see me when he's back."

 

"Fine.  I can't persuade you."  A'Lan throws the cloak on the steps.  "Put it on.  If you want to wait for Young Master Yi, don't freeze yourself to death."

 

She walks away while Xuanji is soaking wet and shivering under the thick snowfall.

 

 

 

 

 

"Young Master Yi, I said everything I should say," says A'Lan, "but she still refused to leave.  If she continues like this, she'll freeze to death."

 

 

 

 

 

Xuanji continues to wait it out in the blizzard, even though it seems useless at this point.  She begins to feel drowsy, and she falls sideways onto the porch.

 

Sifeng runs up the trail to find her passed out in the snow.  "Xuanji!  Xuanji!"  He touches her hand.  She isn't waking up.

 

Her eyes slowly flutter open, and she sees Sifeng.  "Sifeng," she whispers before passing out again.

 

He quickly picks her up, and carries her into his home.

 

He puts her in his bed, and stays close by.  Her eyes open.

 

"You're awake," says Sifeng, who is now looking much better himself.  "Are you still cold?  Do you feel unwell?"

 

Xuanji starts to cry.  She slowly embraces Sifeng, who does not embrace her back.  "Sifeng, now that you're back, can you not leave again?"

 

"I'll go out and bring the medicine I made."  He's trying to be as detached as he can.

 

She refuses to let him go.  "Don't leave."

 

"Then I'll fetch you another quilt, okay?"

 

Xuanji shakes her head.  "I'm not cold."

 

"Don't be so willful."

 

"Sifeng, in all my life, no matter what I've encountered, I had never felt fear.  It's because I didn't have a heart and feelings.  But I'm truly terrified now.  I fear that once you leave, you'll never ever come back.  How long?  How long will it take for you to believe my feelings for you, so that you're satisfied?"  She puts her hands on his shoulders.  "Sifeng, I went to Fenru City and saw our previous nine life times.  I let you down in each and every life time.  It was always too late for me to repent.  But then I discovered I was actually in love with you in every life time.  But it was too late.  It's not that I didn't have a heart then, but I took too long to figure it out.  Can you wait for awhile longer, and be more patient with me?"

 

He embraces her tightly.  He has wanted to be with her so bad, but he's so scared.  "Xuanji," his body feels so warm against hers.  "I've been waiting for too long.  You came a little late.  I was really angry."

 

"What are you saying?"  Asks Xuanji.  She doesn't want him to let her go.

 

"I'm really happy that you've come for me."

 

She closes her eyes and holds him tightly.  "Why did you keep kicking me out?  Why did you say all those harsh things?"  His warmth is so intoxicating.  She wants him to lay down beside her and do so much more than just embrace.  She's ready to take it further.  Is he ready to do the same?

 

 

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